A love to remember
by phree
Summary: Sasusaku. We examine whether it is better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all. Sakura wiped Sasuke from her mind. He retaliated by erasing her too. Maybe you can remove someone from your mind, but are they ever truly gone from your heart?
1. Prologue

**Title: ****A love to remember **

**Chapter 1: One Card Short of a Deck  
Fandom: Naruto  
Author: Phritzen  
Summary:** To love and lost, or to never have loved at all?  
**Extended Summary:** When Sasuke left Sakura in the village Konoha to seek revenge on his brother, he left her with a promise to return.

Two years have past, and Sasuke has finally arrived from his task. But what will he do when Sakura have given up her hope and does no longer remember him? When she chose to forget?

**Rating:** Teen/Mature  
**Pairing:** Sakura/Sasuke  
**Warnings:** Angst! Oh, so much angst! And a little AU

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners. Not me, sob. ****The idea is from a movie I can no longer remember. But it was good!

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_**A love to remember**_

Prologue

The moon was pale tonight. The shadows were large and consumed the woods. But right where they were there was illumination. Blue, white light from the white face in a black sky.

It was quiet.

Not even a leaf from the trees moved. Like the world was holding it's breath, the moon staring down at the two young men stood, one fulfilling his destiny.

The other one fulfilling his death.

The older of them, pushed up against a tree, nailed to it by a silver sparkling katana, the pale steel catching the light of the moon and the stars far over their heads.

_Triumph. _

Sasuke felt his grip harden around the sword. Itachi gasped for air, and some blood flew out of his mouth.

It spotted Sasuke's pale cheek.

He smiled.

This was it.

His mission, his destiny, his dream, his curse.

All of it, it was fulfilled.

He was free.

Sasuke smile grew wider as his fists clenched around the katana, pressed into his brother's throat. More blood poured out of the dying man in front of him. For the first time in years, Itachi's crimson red eyes went onyx black, their natural colour. The eyes, so alike his brother's, searched for his killers and they met.

Sasuke met the strait gaze of the dying man, and memories flashed in front of him. He had lived for this moment. He had sacrificed everything for it. The man who destroyed his life was going to die within seconds. He should be happy.

But Sasuke Uchiha felt no happiness, no salvation. Only the bitter taste of iron in his mouth, not sweet, like before. It was bitter… just bitter.

Itachi smiled, his bloodstained lips drawn to a grin. His pale face became white when all his blood slowly left him and found its way out over Sasuke's cold hands and the silver steel of the Katana.

"You are dying" Sasuke whispered into his face. "You got nothing to smile about"

Itachi's smile grew wider. "Foolish little brother" he said hoarsely, and began coughing, blood flew out of his mouth. "I am dying" he agreed calmly. "But I won"

"No, you didn't" Sasuke hissed beneath his teeth, and drove the sword further into his brothers wrecked body. "I am killing you, you lost"

Itachi laughed once again, more silently this time. "Foolish… as always… don't you know there is more to lose then you life, Sasuke-kun? What is life, when you already lost everything?"

Sasuke felt cold.

"And you gave up it all, for me… for killing me… you _became_ me…" the older man's voice was so weak now that Sasuke barley heard it over the leaves rustle in the soft wind.

Itachi draw one last breath and looked up at his younger brother, the expression of horror made him smile softly one last time.

"You lost, Sasuke, you lost it all"

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**A/N:** Well, did Sasuke lost everything? If you are asking me, I'd say he does. He gave up everything to kill Itachi, but what will happen when he success? His life will be pointless, and empty. It is like Kakashi tells him when he is young.

"Forget about revenge, the fate of those who seeks vengeance is always cruel"

Or something like that.

But to the story, a long-shot. My first actually. I know the prologue doesn't make much sense to the rest of the story, but fear not! I have everything under control.

So itachi tells Sasuke he lost, and Sasuke think he is wrong and returns home to what means most to him, the one thing he didn't let go of. But what will he do when she has forgotten about him?

Next chapter up before well… within a week, at most.

Review, pretty please!

And bwt, this is a little AU. Sasuke left Konoha as kid (like the manga) but then Naruto and Sakura got him back as fifteen or something, everyone believing Sasuke to have killed Itachi. Sasuke and Sakura started a relationship, but Itachi returned and almost destroyed Konoha, and Sasuke was forced to hunt after him till he was truly dead. So he left Sakura and Konoha once again, but promising Sakura to return to her.


	2. Glimpse

**A/N: **Happy New Year! Or if you are of the suffering kind; have a really stinky new year! I'm updating on a day when probably no one will have time to read it. How smart am I? Oh well, now I'm going to go out and get drunk!

Alright, here we go. First chapter. I am so proud to be done so fast.

**Story: A love to remember  
****Author: Phritzen  
****Manga: Naruto  
****Pairing:** Sakura/Sasuke and Naruto/Sakura  
**Secondary Pairings:** Hints at Shikamaru/Ino, Kiba/Hinata, and Rock Lee/Tenten  
**Author's Notes: **Thanks to my reviewer Northernlight25, Osmidgen0, sakura5558, and my friend Crimson Valley. Thanks guys, it's really appreciated.  
**Disclaimer:** All characters and situations remain the property of their respective owners. Of course… Do I look like a rich, HUGE manga-drawing art company from Japan to you?!

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_**A love to remember**_

Chapter I: Glimpse

"The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity." - _Helen Hayes_

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Sakura's eyelashes fluttered the moment before she opened her eyes and slowly woke up. She tried to fight it, rolling over and burying her head into her pillow, determined to go back to sleep. It didn't work. She laid there with her eyes still closed, although her mind was now fully alert. She really didn't want to get up.

To fall asleep was a blessing she never was meant to have, but gosh, it would have been wonderful. She hade gone to bed early the night before, even skipping going to a movie with Ino and Hinata, but was still exhausted. Sakura didn't quite understand it – it was as if instead of sleeping the entire night, her mind was buzzing around the whole time. It had been like this for ages now, and it made her wonder.

But really, she had never been a good sleeper.

She sighed. All this thinking wouldn't help. Taking a deep breath, she instead tried to unwind and clear her mind, but found she couldn't do that either. She could easily rid herself of any thoughts, envision a blank slate, but it was like there was still something there, buried deeper beneath it all. Maybe something small tugging at the back of her mind? It was… disconcerting. Like she had forgotten something important, but every time she felt close to grasp it, it just slipped away again, deeper down in her unconsciousness.

With an aggravated grunt, Sakura gave up on that and opened her eyes. Blinking a few times to adjust to the bright light, she could see it was gorgeous outside – blue skies, fluffy white clouds, birds singing, a stereotypical summer's day. Wonderful.

But she still didn't feel like getting up, beautiful day or not. She wanted to burry herself under the pillows and sleep away from that buzzing sound in her head. Was it never going to stop? What was wrong with her? There had to be something… It was like she had absolutely no motivation to get out of bed anymore.

She didn't get herself. Everything was good now. No fights or wars, no wounded people, no betrayals. She was supposed to be happy, wait, she was happy.

Right?

Questioning herself made Sakura worry even more. Why would she do that? Her life was going smoothly, for once. She had friends, family, hell, she even had a boyfriend! So, what was wrong? She couldn't pin it down. There was that feeling again… What was it? Unhappiness? No… Sadness? No… It was… missing.

"What is wrong with me today?" she asked herself. _What is wrong with me at all?_

Shaking her head vigorously, she tried to forget it, push it away. Time to get up and face the day – but first, she needed to vent. Reaching under her bed, Rogue pulled out her journal. It had been a while since she had written in it, but she had been busy. Flipping through it, she came to the last page that had scribblings on it and looked at the date.

_Huh, over a year ago? Wow, guess I haven't written for longer than I thought._

She looked at the few pages she had written in, and then at the multitude of blank ones following them. Wait… There it was, that feeling. That's what it was – emptiness.

'Why the hell would I be feeling empty? My life isn't empty…'

Sakura didn't understand it, but that was clearly what the feeling was. She was vacant. Bare. A void. But… Was she? Suddenly, she couldn't stand staring at the blank page any longer. Grabbing a pen, she began to doodle randomly, anything to fill up the paper. About Ino and the mall, her latest, very boring mission, way to easy for a junin, even a just upgraded one, and about her boyfriend. There, it wasn't empty anymore.

Slamming her journal shut, she tossed it back under her bed and stood up. There was that motivation now – time to prove to herself that she was wrong. She wasn't empty. That was just ridiculous.

She went to her closet and searched thru it after something to wear a sunny day like this. She found a green tank top and a pair of jeans with ragged knees and tied a red ribbon in her pastel pink hair to keep the bangs away from her pale face. She checked herself in the mirror and was about putting on some light make-up when there was a loud knocking at her door.

"Fore-head!" a light, but quite sharp voice yelled behind the wooden door. "Wake up now!"

Sakura sighed, but when she opened the door she couldn't help but smile at her best friend that impatiently waited outside her apartment.

"Seriously Sakura, since you moved away from your parents you've gotten lazy!" the blonde teen sighed and without an inviting she tramped in.

"And good morning to you to, Ino-pig" Sakura said ironically as she closed the door after the girl.

Ino tossed her hair away from her beautiful face, and as always when she did that, Sakura felt a little sting of jealousy. She wasn't even close to as good-looking as Ino, with her blonde, silky, shining hair and those baby blue eyes of hers, and that slim waist and big breast.

But still, as Ino always reminded her when she complained, Sakura was the one with a boyfriend. Not Ino. How that could be possible, Sakura often asked herself in secret. Ino had many admires, anything else was a grave lie, and even if she often responded with flirting she never really seemed to think of it as anything more. Like she didn't care about it, and if anyone had been boy crazy thru the years it was Ino-pig. Sakura didn't get it, why this incredible chance? Every time she tried to talk to Ino about it she always switched the subject faster then Rock Lee's attacks in combat. But Sakura had begun to get an idea of what it was all about.

But today Ino was as perky as ever and danced into Sakura's apartment. "You really missed a good movie yesterday, Hinata and I loved it! The end was so… " Ino gestured wildly in lack of words. "You know, really…"

"Cheesy?" Sakura suggested. Knowing Ino it had probably been something about a handsome young badass with a beautiful, strong-willed (blonde) young woman.

Ino stack out her tongue. "No, Fore-head" she said and jumped back to their old nicknames to insult her. "It was romantic!"

Sakura only laughed, while she leaned down to tie on her sandals. Ino frowned at her one last time over the insult over the movie and then she collapsed back on Sakura's bed for a few minutes, and then sat up.

"Hey, are you going out?" she asked Sakura when the pink haired woman took her shoulder bag from the table.

"Yeah, I'm off to the ramen shop, remember?"

"Oh, right. For your _date_." Ino said and rolled her eyes, not enough discreetly.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, and your point is?"

"Nothing," she yawned, and then bounced out of bed. "But you two, like,_ always_ go there!"

Sakura putted her hands on her hips. "So? Maybe I like it there" she snapped. Why was everyone so negative to her relationship? Even Ino made it clear she didn't approve with it. It was really annoying!

Ino quickly noticed Sakura's frustration and raised her hands. "Wooah, no need to explode, right?"

For a moment Sakura wanted to say that yeah, it was. She was so sick and tired of people having thoughts about her romance. Shouldn't it be enough for them to know that she was happy? For she was happy, really! Then why seemed no one to believe her?

But then she saw Ino's guilty expression and she exhaled. "Sorry Ino…" Her friend was right, she needed to relax. "I've just… I don't know, I guess it's been a strange morning" She draw a hand thru the pink bangs and sighed. "Actually, it's been a strange weekend"

Ino gave her shoulder a swift clap. "Isn't it always? But that's okay" she smiled and followed her friend to the door. "Go and get some ramen, it always cheers you up!"

Sakura nodded, smiling back. Her companion could really have some mood swings, but then again… she wasn't the only one.

She looked the door after them and pulled the keys back into the black little bag. "So I'll see you lather then?" she asked Ino, trying to make up for her outburst before.

Ino nodded. "Choji and Shika will be off to a short mission tomorrow, so we thought about having some food together, lather this evening? Just to celebrate, you know" she suggested lightly, but Sakura wasn't fooled by that smile as they began to walk down the street.

Since Asuma died Ino had been much more worried about her team-mates, and both Choji and Shikamaru was giving much more dangerous mission these days. Shikamaru was after all a junin now. But Ino was always worried when they left and had made it a habit to eat together if anyone of them were going to a mission, even a simple one.

But to be honest, Sakura was quite happy for it. She could never be 100 sure if all of them was coming back, anything could happen. And then it was nice to have met before, if it did. "Of course" she nodded. "I'll be there"

"So we see each other at the ramen shop later?" Ino said and stopped to turn right at the crossroad were Sakura was going to continue strait ahead.

"I'll have to come up to the hospital to leave some papers" Sakura sighed at the memory. Why did she have so muck paperwork to do these days? "Tsunade-sama wanted them yesterday, but…"

Ino grinned. "I told you, you are getting lazy, fore-head girl!"

Sakura just grimaced and turned around. "See ya later, Ino-pig!" she called over her shoulder. She wasn't sure if Ino was laughing or snorting.

It really was a beautiful morning. The birds were singing in the trees and a soft breeze got the leaves to rustle softly. Sakura sighed and pulled a pink lock of hair away from her face. She stared into the blue sky and sighed again. Her footsteps felt so heavy and she still had that annoying mutter in the back of her head, like someone was nagging inside of there, trying to give her a great headache. For the third time, Sakura sighed and stared down in the ground.

Why wasn't she happier?

Mulling over this with a little scowl she turned around the corner to the ramen-shop without looking up from the dusty road, and…

"Ouch!"

"Sorry!"

Sakura jumped back from the green dressed young man she bumped into and rubbed her despised enormous forehead. "My bad Lee-san" she apologized with a weak smile. "I wasn't watching where I was going"

Rock Lee smiled brightly at the pink-haired kunochi, even doe he was rubbing his chest. His dark eyes sparkled and he gave her the thump up. "Do not worry, Sakura-san!" he guaranteed. "I am perfectly alright!"

Sakura smiled at the green ninja's usual enthusiasm. "Good to hear"

"Umm… So, where are you off to?" Lee asked, trying to establish friendly conversation and make up for hitting her, even if it was Sakura's fault. Sakura smiled to herself, it was so typical Lee.

"I'm going out for ramen," she answered him, and attempted to walk past him. She was already late. Lee grimaced, and didn't move.

"Oh." His voice tensed up. "With _him_?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What, you can't even say my boyfriend's name?" she said and sounded more sharply then she had planed to. But something about that glint in his eyes when it came to her romance bothered her. Perhaps because Ino had the same way look in her face. Like they tasted something really nasty and tried their best not to show it.

"Yes, of _course_ with him! I _am _dating him, after all!" she burst out, not caring if she was overreacting. "And I'm really not in the mood to argue with you this morning, got it? I'm so sick about everyone… not liking it! I mean, he is you friend and you act nice and all, except when it comes to our relationship! Why is that!?"

Lee took a weary step back, trying not to provoke Sakura. She reminded him of a pink bull ready to charge a toreador – any sudden movements would surely spell his doom, so he went for peaceful, soothing words instead. "Calm down, Sakura-san. I am sorry, I did not mean to upset you, I was just wondering where you were going. I like to keep tabs on my fellow-ninjas, I care about you"

Sakura shook her head and tried to calm down. Why did she feel so angry? What was going on? "But why do everyone act like this, Lee?" she asked, hearing herself sound both tired and gloomy. "We're not doing anything wrong, none of us bad persons"

Lee sighed and stretched out his orange legging, he had put on some extra weight this morning, for his morning pass with Tenten. Guy-sensai had told him to train even harder for the junin exam. He had missed the last one, and Tenten was more the willingly to help.

"I… Well, do not take it personally, Sakura-san" he came up with quickly. "Remember how it was with Kiba-san and Hinata-san, it was just so unpredictable" he continued and tried not to flicker with his black, round eyes. "Everyone was so shocked, they will get used to it soon, you will see!"

Sakura tried not to get irritated again. Lee was no good liar. "Lee-san, it's been half a year!"

When Lee opened his mouth to explain it, Sakura throw her fists in the air. "Oh, just forget about it! I'm already late!"

And with that she walked past the green ninja who called weakly after her.

"Nice to see you, Sakura-san!"

She didn't answer and by the way she was walking he could feel the ground shake under her feet. He didn't envy next one who pissed her off. He groaned and ran a hand through his pitch-black, bowl-cut hair in frustration. "Well, that went well"

"You should know better than to lecture her about her relationships, Lee" spoke up Tenten as she came and stood behind him, ready to train with him, and gave him a rapid smack over the head for his stupidity. "It never goes well"

"I know… But the whole situation is so weird, is it not?" he commented as he turned towards her. Although 'weird' seemed like a rather weak adjective…

"Definitely. But we can't do anything about it, it's up to Sakura to make her own decisions."

"As much as I hate to admit it, I think she made the wrong one"

Tenten gave him a sad smile. "She'll have to figure that out on her own"

As Sakura stalked along, she tried to breathe in the fresh air to calm herself down. Thankfully, the long walk to the ramen-shop gave her plenty of time for that.

'_Argh, what is wrong with all of them? As long as I'm happy they shouldn't mind it, and I am happy with him! Dammit, he is my boyfriend!'_ The thought of him managed to brighten Sakura's mood slightly. She'd see him soon, he usually made her feel better.

Shortly she approached their meeting place. When she walked inside, she quickly scanned the place. It was small and little untidy, and in the beginning she hadn't like it. It was too dirty for her, with all the unwashed dish and loud voices. But now she inhaled the sweet and special smell of ramen and meat and other food she had learn to love and sighed. She sat down at the bar table and greeted the old man working behind the table with a nod. She already felt that annoying sound in her head and the even more annoying feeling in her stomach disappear.

She asked cheerfully for a cup of coffee while she waited and the owner gave her one in a moment. She sat down and closed her eyes, tentatively sipping the scalding latte, and waited for her boyfriend to show up.

"Knowing him, he's probably held up flirting with every kunochi that crosses his path" she mentally scoffed.

She continued to sit and drink, her earlier confusion and conflict already ancient history. However, after a few minutes Sakura felt another odd sensation – only this time, she could pinpoint it easily. It was the feeling of being watched.

Opening her eyes, their green depths scanned the room. She was alone in the ramen-bar and turned her head around to look out on the street. They stopped on a young man standing on the other side, staring at her. Sakura's heart leapt into her throat as she looked him over.

A worn black cloak over the tall, skinny body. Unruly black hair fell into his face and stood up in his neck, a little like a duck's back feathers. The face, half hidden behind the pitch black hairs, was pale and torn, like he was exhausted. But still, it was probably the most handsome face she had ever seen. It was aristocratic and pale, the white matching the black in the rest of his appearance, the cheekbones was high and every line in his face was like carved in marble.

But it was his eyes.

It was his eyes that really captivated her, enchanted her.

They were black. Like onyx, like hole, and they stared at her with such intense that it made Sakura's heart skip a beat. His stone face showed nothing, but his eyes…

How could only a gaze affect her so?

She looked at him curiously, and he gazed right back, with an unreadable expression on his face, the dark eyes filled with an intense mixture of emotions. But the rest of his face was empty, only the eyes gave anything away. But still, she couldn't read them, – that is, until a look of annoyance crossed his face, caused by somebody roughly brushing past him, shoving him slightly. With that, Sakura's attention turned to that other person.

_'Finally!'_ she thought.

As the blonde young man hurried towards her she said with a glare. "Well, nice of you to show up, Naruto"

Her boyfriend grinned sheepish and rubbed his neck. "Ah, sorry Sakura-chan, but…"

But Sakura waved her hand. "I know, I know, you got lost on the road of life" and Naruto laughed as he reached her his hand. Sakura took his hand, with surprised expression.

"Were are we going? I thought we…"

But Naruto shoot her a gleeful grin. "C'mon, I got something for you"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, but let him led her out on the street. "Naruto, if this is anything like that frog-festival…" she began, but Naruto just shook his head.

"Dattebayo Sakura-chan, trust me, you'll love it!"

He held her hand as he led her towards the mysterious man who hadn't moved from his earlier spot. As Sakura passed by, she accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry..." she called out as she walked by, slightly turning to face the stranger, and had one more glimpse of him. As she spun back around to follow her boyfriend, they both missed the bewildered and offended look on the man's pale face.

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**A/N:** What?! Sasuke's back in town and nobody notes it. Not even Sakura? Ouch, too bad for your ego Sasuke-kun.

So, next chapter: You think Sasuke will break down in tears over the fact that his love does not care about him… or will he beat the living shit out of someone just to make himself feel better? Well, read to know in the next chapter of "A love to remember"

(gosh, didn't I just sound like a commercial spoiler? Yey! A dream coming true!)

And by the way, did you know that four of five doctors consider it to be a healthy way of living if you leave reviews to authors you support? You don't believe it? Well, better to be safe then sorry…

See ya soon!

Phritz

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	3. Slipping trough

**Title: ****A love to remember **

**Chapter: Two****  
Fandom: Naruto  
Author: Phritzen  
Summary:** To love and lost, or to never have loved at all?  
**Extended Summary:** When Sasuke left Sakura in the village Konoha to seek revenge on his brother, he left her with a promise to return. Two years have past, and Sasuke has finally arrived from his task. But what will he do when Sakura have given up her hope and does no longer remember him? When she chose to forget? **Rating:** Teen/Mature  
**Pairing:** Sakura/Sasuke  
**Warnings:** Angst! Oh, so much angst! And a little AU.

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners. ****Sigh…

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_**A love to remember**_

Chapter II: Slipping trough

_"Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it." – Georges Duhamel_

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As Sakura and Naruto walked in to the restaurant later that evening, they were already late. Sakura gave Naruto a light hit over his shoulder, when everyone was waiting for them.

"This is you fault!"

Naruto grimaced slightly. "Sakura-chan, I'm just…" But what ever excuse he was going to say Sakura silenced him with a deadly glare.

"Really stupid!" he hurried to say, and was ready to duck for a harder hit, but before she had the chance, Ino called out for them. "You are late!"

Sakura scowled and sat down beside her friend and Naruto sank throw himself down at her other side. Even if Ino did her best to hide it, an annoyed shadow flew over her baby blue eyes. Sakura pretended not to see.

"Hey Naruto!" Kiba called out from the other side of the long table. "Where were you today? I wanted to test Akamaru's knew trace jutsu with you shadowcopies"

"Oh…" Naruto laughed guilty. "I totally forgot, dattebayou! Sorry Kiba"

Kiba snorted and turned to Shino at his left side. Naruto grimaced.

The restaurant was pretty large but wasn't enough famous to have many customers so the place was calm and silent. At least to the Konoha 11 arrived. Rock Lee and Tenten were in a heated quarrel about Lee's training program down the end of the table. ("Honestly Lee, it is way too hard for you to train like that, I know you are used to inhuman exercises, but this…")

Neji sat silent beside them, quietly drinking his sake, with his little shy cousin beside him, who was discreetly talking to Kiba and Shino about their latest mission, and if Kurenai was going to take mission ever again, she was very protective, much because of her son, Asuka. Sakura knew that team 8 missed their sensai, but she doubted she would return. She couldn't take the risk of leaving her son alone, and even if she wanted to, Shikamaru wouldn't let her.

The lazy shadow master was sitting next to team 8, pretending not hear their discussion about the family he now protected with a fire that was quite unlike him. He and Ino were nagging, as always. This time about Shikamarus' hair.

"But c'mon Shika-kun!" Ino squealed and tried to touch her team-mate's black, spiky pineapple tuft. "I just wanna se what it looks like unset, c'mon, let me have a look!"

Shikamaru scowled and tried to duck under her hands. "I said No! You troublesome woman!"

Choji was wise enough not to interfere in the arguing or perhaps he was too busy eating his barbeque.

Sakura smiled.

All was fine.

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As Ino and Sakura left the party, and went home it was late. The moon hanged like a ghost-face over the trees and the only sound was their own footsteps on the street, and somewhere far away someone was laughing in the night.

Sakura sighed, she was tired. Her head felt comfortably numb after the drinks of sake, as she and Ino passed the academy and the playground.

"So… " Ino asked, barley blurred. "Had fun today?"

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, he arranged a picnic at the hill and we sat there the whole day…" she sighed dreamily. Naruto had been right, she had loved it. It was peacefully and cosy to watch the sunset with someone you liked.

"He really know that I like" she told Ino, pointing out how good Naruto and she were together, how they were meant to be.

"Yeah, perhaps…" Ino mumbled, suddenly focusing on the trees in the light breeze.

Sakura sighed, annoyed. "Geez, you couldn't sound more unenthusiastic, could you?" she said. Ino jumped at her best friend's angry voice.

"What?"

Sakura stopped under the trees and turned around to face her best friend, her green eyes pinned into Ino's baby blue. "You don't like Naruto and mine's relationship, do you?" Sakura asked bluntly. She was tired of everyone acting this way and she wanted to know the truth– now was as good a time as any, especially since she had started out her day analyzing her life. _And she was drunk enough to not be shy_, said that annoying little voice in the back of her head.

Sakura knew the answer before the blond girl had even spoken. The way Ino's eyes widen and the worried glimmer in the said enough. Ino looked away from Sakura and tried to explain. "Oh, no, no, Naruto and you… you are good together, but I really don't know him to well… "

"Be honest with me, Ino" Sakura interrupted, using her real name to demonstrate the serious in the situation.

Ino sighed and gave up. "Honestly Sakura, I really don't know" she stared and looked straight into Sakura's emerald eyes this time. "If you want to see him…

"If? I am seeing him!"

"Yes, you are" Ino agreed, finding it best not to speak against her pink-haired friend. "He is fine... it's just that…"

"Argh!" Sakura threw her hands in the air and screamed out in the night of annoyance. "Why is everyone so against me and Naruto? I know he is the kyyobi and all, but don't you think he made up for that by all the good things he done? He's not evil, Ino!"

"I know, Sakura, I know!" Ino hurried herself to calm down Sakura, as she began to mold chakra in her fits. "I have to admit that Naruto isn't my favourite person, but like I was going to say, if he makes you happy, and you want to see him so…"

Sakura calmed down and looked at her best friend. "Really? So you're okay with it then?"

_Of course not!_ Ino wanted to scream right into Sakura's face, but smiled instead. "Of course I am" she lied with a bright smile, and gave Sakura's shoulder a light pat.

Sakura nodded, clearly relived. "Good. Glad I've got somebody on my side… Call me paranoid, but it's like everyone in the mansion's against me and Naruto, like they're all whispering about us or something. It's annoying"

That was an understatement. It unnerved her to no end – every time she mentioned Naruo's name, the others would exchange veiled glances, or wouldn't be able to look Sakura in the eye… She had lost track of the number of times that she had entered a room only to have the conversation stop, or abruptly change subjects… It wasn't as if her relationship with Naruto was very juicy or scandalous, so it made her wonder what everybody's problem was.

In the same time Ino smiled and nodded understanding, she made a mental note to tell everybody to cool their chitchat. "That does sound a bit paranoid. I'm sure it's nothing"

"I guess it is" Sakura sighed, letting herself start walking again.

A short silence spread over the two girls, while they made their way home, over the silent streets before the blonde medic spoke again, this time with a quiet, unsure tone. "Sakura?"

"Yes, Ino?"

"_Are_ you happy?"

Sakura was a bit shocked over Ino's sudden question. Sure, the blonde used to be straight to the point, but this was a little too much, even for her. But Sakura pondered over the matter while they came in to the street were Sakura lived. Shouldn't it worry her that she needed to think so much over her answer?

"Yeah, I suppose I am" she said after a moment. "I mean… I think I am, everything has been going really good lately, you know. No dangerous mission, no dead team-mates… it is really good" she finished weakly. Was it just in her own ears, or did it sound like she tried to convince herself, instead of Ino? "Naruto and I are having fun together, and he always helps me with my training, he is always there for me…"

Ino smiled a little, before she asked the second question that had grown in her mind, even since Sakura told her about her feelings for the ramen-loving ninja. "Do you love him?"

But that was too much, even from Ino, and Sakura tensed. "What kind of question is that?" she spitted out. "Wasn't you on my side, why are you so questioning about the only guy that has ever made me happy?!"

Ino sighed. _Oh, if you only knew, Sakura,_ she thought bitterly. "No, no, I didn't mean like that" she hurried to say before her friend hit her with that infamous strength of hers. "Let's talk about something else" she suggested, when it was only a little bit left to Sakura's apartment.

"Yeah" Sakura said sullenly. Hearing how she sounded she quickly forced herself to smile. "So… did you do anything interesting while I was… gone"

Ino shuddered. "Nah, nothing much" she said and tossed her beautiful head so the blonde hair danced in the night. "Oh" she suddenly remembered with a bright grin. "Shikamaru and I took a walk together while Choji picked up a new set of pills to their mission. It was really nice" she said dreamily.

Sakura laughed at the expression in her friend's face. "My God, Ino-pig. You really have a crush for that lazy excuse for a ninja" she teased and saw Ino's pretty face turn almost as purple as her clothes.

"I'm not!" she protested heatedly. "We're team-mates, and friends! Nothing more! And he is a really good ninja, actually. He was the first one to become chunin, remember?"

Sakura smiled knowingly. "Yeah, riiiight" She looked over to her friend as they reached her door. "How come you always defend him these days, you always used to complain about him. And you are always so worried about him, and remember that time he got into the hospital, you never left his side for days" she laughed at he memory of the hysterical and worried Ino, at Shikamaru's sickbed. "I don't get how you could do that, it was ridiculous. I mean, he wasn't even in any danger!"

Ino smiled bitterly at her friends last words. _Right, Sakura_, she thought. _Like you could never understand it… _

"So what about you?" she asked Sakura, to switch the subject. "Met anyone interesting?"

Sakura seemed a little unpleased with stopping to tease Ino about the lazy shadow tamer, but gave in. "No, I was with Naruto all day…" She looked away over the rooftops of the houses and saw up into the stars. The sparkling light on the black silk of the night. Sakura stared into the darkness, the colour reminded her of something… someone's eyes…

"Actually" she said then. "There was one weird thing. At the ramen-shop, there was a guy that stared at me…"

Ino peeked up, pouncing all over the tidbit of gossip. "Ohhh" she shrieked. "What did he look like? Did you know him? Was it someone from the villages? Maybe he likes you!"

Sakura did her best to hush her perky friend, who got far too exited about that tiny bit of information, for Sakura's taste. "Ino-pig, it was just a guy, and just for a moment"

"But I wanna know! Describe him to me. Was he cute?" she grilled Sakura, who gave in, as always with her best friend. Ino could be very demanding. Something that both Couji and Shikamaru knew too well.

"Well…" she wrinkled her large forehead, in a try to remember. "He was tall, quite pale, kinda scruffy looking, a black coat, messy black hair, and really, really black eyes, like wells"

At those words, Ino's mouth fell open and she stared at Sakura, who still remembered the stranger's handsome eyes.

"Unbelievable" Ino whispered, completely astonished.

The sound made Sakura woke up. "Ino-pig?" she asked, when Ino didn't stop stirring at her. "What's wrong?"

Ino blinked, and then realised what she was doing. "Nothing, nothing! I'm just tired, that's all. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, fore-head!"

And with nothing more, she turned on a heel and was gone. Sakura saw after her, with a flabbergasted expression over her face. "Now, what was that about?" she mumbled to herself. But then she shuddered and opened her door, and walked in. She could always ask her tomorrow.

* * *

Ino panted heavily as she ran down the streets in the fresh summer night. She didn't meet anyone, and was thankful for it, but worried also. Her mind was occupied by many, more important matters. Like what Sakura just had told her.

Ino's mind ran fast thru her words, one by one, as she turned around the corner towards the academy. Then, with a relived sigh, she realised: Sakura had no idea what the swift view of the man had meant.

But what was going to happen now? When he was back? Ino had no idea, but she knew it wouldn't be good. She made up her mind ages ago, she had prepared for this moment. And she had decided: her top-priority was to protect Sakura. She couldn't let him hurt her again, not even after all this time.

She ran into the playground outside the academy with the swing wavering in one of the trees. But she also had to find him, before…

"Hello Yamanaka Ino" said a stern voice behind her.

Ino spun around. "Sasuke-kun!" she screamed of surprise.

The dark-clothed young man nodded sternly in a greeting. A part of Ino noticed how tired and skeletal he looked like. He looked like he had no sleep for ages, with dark rings under the onyx black eyes, and the white skin drawn tightly over his cheekbones, with no extra fat, making the face look a like a scull. But it all fitted him, in a terrifying way and he was more handsome now then ever, and that part of her, the part that never really grew up and never really got over Sasuke-kun, blushed in the night. But she shook her head, angrily. It wasn't time to think about that.

"What are you doing in here?" she demanded fiercely, beginning to panic. "You can't be here, Sakura can't see you!"

Sasuke's black eyes turned even darker at the name of the pink-haired kunochi. "That is the reason I am here" he told her, giving her that look that made her feel so small, and insignificant. It hit her that this man could do anything with her, kill her in a second. Like he had done to many men.

"Yes, I understand that" she hurried to say. "But she…"

"She already saw me this morning" Sasuke said, impatiently, and the thin lips were drawn in a grimace, like the memory tasted bad in his mouth. "But she was too busy with the dobe to even see me"

"Yes, I know…" Ino began, but Sasuke interrupted again.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked and the black eyes flashed in anger and a glint of red, and perhaps a little hurt too. "I promised to come back, and she promised to wait!" His voice was nothing more then a hoarse whisper, but Ino felt like he had screamed the words out in the night. "And now I am back, to find her all over the ramen loving idiot! Did she just forget about me so fast? What…?" he growled, not really knowing how to continue.

"I knew she would be angry, I expected it. I deserved some punishment, after the leaving like that. But not this, not _Naruto_! She ignored me, it was like she didn't know me"

"Yes, yes I know, Sasuke-kun" she tried to hush him, as she throw several glances down the deserted street. If someone saw him here… "But there is something you don't understand"

But the young man just shook his head, like an irritated panther. "I need to see Sakura" he commanded, and began to walk towards the pink-haired woman's apartment.

Ino opened her mouth to stop him, but she didn't know what to say. She understood his confusion and anger. She knew that rage was the way for men like Sasuke to react in face of uncertainty, but sometimes she wished that all men could be more like Shikamaru, who always stayed calm and understanding. "Wait, Sasuke-kun!" she called after him, not louder then she had to.

The black-clothed young man didn't even throw a glance back at her.

"But you can't see her!" she tried desperately.

That was clearly the wrong thing to tell the last Uchiha, who already had many men's blood on his hand, Ino remained herself with a gulp.

But Sasuke froze in the middle of a step and Ino held her breath. There was no movement in the street. The dim light from the lamps down the lane cast long shadows and Ino felt cold. No breeze touched the tree's branches and the green leaves didn't even flutter.

Like everything was holding it's breath in the waiting of Sasuke's reaction.

But he didn't move, he was just standing there a few steps in front of her, contemplating her words. Ino exhaled, relived. He was obviously not that irascible these days.

And then, with a speed she never thought possible for any man, he was in front of her, his sharingan red eyes glaring into her, terrified, baby-blue.

"What do you know about this?" he demanded to know.

Ino stared into his eyes and couldn't help but ponder over how these red demon eyes had been the very last thing to ever see, for so many people. But when she looked closely, she saw, beneath the murderous intention, behind those fiery blood-red eyes, there was despair and desperation.

He needed to know, and if it hadn't been for his pride, he would have begged her to tell him.

"When I saw Sakura at the ramen-shop today, she didn't recognize me" he said slowly. "You know why, tell me!"

Ino bite her cherry coloured lips, unsure what to do. She shouldn't… they were told not to… But Sakura would have wanted it… Ino looked up at Sasuke, who was waiting impatiently, his hand clenching to the Katana sword by his hip.

Then she sighed. If they would accuse her for it she could always say he had threatened her. There was no option.

She had to tell him about it. It was no other way, she realised with a sudden pain in her chest. How she had feared that she would have to be the one.

"It is complicated" she began, uncertainly. "I don't…"

"Just tell me!" Sasuke growled impatiently. Ino frown, how could she ever love this rude, irritated man? He was so… But that wasn't right time to try to understand the mind of Uchiha Sasuke.

"You can't really blame Sakura for this" she tried again.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean with that? I deserve this for hurting her? It serves me right that she has a new boyfriend, that also it a complete idiot!"

"Hey, that idiot has saved you ass more then once" Ino reminded him, quite sternly. She didn't really like Naruto, but god knew Sasuke had much to thank that boy for.

Sasuke scowled, like Ino had reminded him of a painful humiliating memory. "That dobe, he didn't even see me either. He was too busy drooling over Sakura" It was a strange for Ino to see the cool and cold Sasuke being so… well, jealous.

"Sasuke-kun, listen to me" she tried one last time. "You _can't_ blame Sakura for being with Naruto"

"And why the hell not?" Sasuke growled. "Did she just forget about me, or what?"

When Ino flinched at his words, he froze. "Ino?"

The blonde really wished she was far away from here, and that none of this had ever happened. That Sasuke never had returned to Konoha, and she never even heard about the man Sakura had seen on the ramen-shop.

She wished she didn't had to tell him what she was about to tell. "Sasuke-kun…" she began, not knowing what to say, or how to explain it. She had no words.

When she didn't say anything, just stared down in the ground, Sasuke asked her. "What happened? Has Sakura forgotten about me? Tell me" he demanded once again, but this time his voice was weaker, slower. Ino realised he was worried.

"Did Sakura forget about me? Answer!"

The pitying look on her face told him all he needed to know.

Sasuke stood tall, without a movement in his thin body as her words sunk in. His pale face gave nothing away, but his lips were pressed together tightly, like he tried not to scream.

"How?" he said in a low voice, with promising to kill the guilty ones. The pain and dark rage in his voice made Ino shudder in the warm night. "Was she hurt under a mission? Did they know who did it to her?

When Ino shook her head, he jumped to another trail. "Is she sick? Some kind of Amnesia? Is it reversible?"

He did his best to sound calm, trying to think rationally, but his hands betrayed him.

They were shaking.

Ino thought about placing a hand on his skeletal shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort him, but he would probably just roughly shake it off – she couldn't make it okay.

Ino felt like crying, it just wasn't fair to any of them. She desperately didn't want to be the one to break the news to him, he was distraught enough already… But she just couldn't let him be in the dark about this anymore – he needed to know the truth, he ought to have that much, at least.

"When you left… Sakura was devastated" Ino tried once more. "She… well, she… "

She saw the hope flare in his onyx eyes, maybe there was a way to make it alright, maybe it wasn't permanently, as long as he didn't know he had that hope to cling to, and it killed her that she would have to extinguish it.

She gasped for air and tried not to cry. "Oh my God, Sasuke-kun… I'm so sorry, but Sakura... she… she forgot about you willingly. She erased you from her memory"

* * *

**A/N:** Ouch, that must sting really. Poor Sasuke… I really am torturing him (and smiling all the time, mohahahaha!) But I suppose he can have it for walking away from Sakura in episode 109, or whatever it was. I still haven't forgiven him for that… grumble… 

But guys! School, my eternal torture and follower had once again caught up on me! This means a little slower updating, but you know the drill:

If you review more, I'll promise to write more. Please… I really like reviews… C'mon, push the button down there and tell me what you think.

And thank you to those six persons who done it the last chapters, especially Northernlight25, who done it twice!

And special thank to you.

But I am a little curious how many that reads this. So I know the pressure, I work better that way.

So, next chapter:

What the hell? Sakura erased Sasuke?! But why, and how? Will it finally be clear to Sasuke and you? Maybe…

See ya!

Phritzen

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	4. Wish

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners.

* * *

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_**A love to remember**_

Chapter III: Wish

"_Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." – Michel de Montaigne_

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* * *

"_she… she forgot about you willingly. She erased you from her memory"

* * *

_

Sasuke said nothing, at first.

He didn't even blink.

Ino tried to keep her tears inside of her, this wasn't the right moment to cry. She pressed her hands over her mouth, like she blamed it for spitting out those horrible words. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun" she wined. "So, so sorry!" She didn't know what else to say.

Sasuke didn't even look at her, his face completely blank. No feelings, no grief. Like he hadn't heard her.

Ino didn't like the emptiness in his eyes, she didn't like the lack of reaction. "It wasn't… oh, I wish it didn't become like this!" she rambled on, trying to wake him up by her high-pitched voice. "If only…"

"Are you telling the truth, Yamanaka Ino?" he interrupted her quietly, his voice like the sound of the wind in the dark night.

Ino gulped, wishing of all her heart that she could give another answer. "Yes… I am"

He nodded sternly, his eyes fixed somewhere over her head. "I see"

Ino felt her heart break as Sasuke stared blankly ahead, a distant look on his face. But then again, her sorrow would be nothing compared to his, she supposed.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun.." Ino began, she didn't want him to look like that. Like he just got a kunai in his stomach and tried not to show the pain. "I'm so…"

But Sasuke interrupted her, his voice was less then a whisper in the night. "Tell me exactly what happened" A whisper, but it would have been just as powerful a demand had he screamed it out. It was clear Sasuke would not leave without the answers he needed, and Ino couldn't, and wouldn't, deny them to him.

She shook her head, so the blonde hair fell into her face and sighed. It was such a bizarre story, she could hardly believe it was real… And she knew that they both wished it wasn't. Taking a deep breath, she began.

"After you left… Sakura was, like…" she searched for words. "It was like she was broken inside… she had been so happy with you, and when you were gone, she just… collapsed" Ino remembered with a shudder. "She didn't eat, she didn't sleep… and when she did she always woke up crying. We tried to cheer her up and all, Naruto and me, and Rock Lee, even Tsunade-sama and Kakashi… but she just pushed everyone away. It was like the last time you left, only worse. We were so worried for her"

Sasuke nodded without a word, he looked so absent that she wasn't sure he was listening. "Continue" he demanded her, when she just stared at him a little too long.

"I tired to tell her, that you didn't want to leave, that you would be back…" Ino gave Sasuke a fast glance again. Even now she wasn't sure if she'd been telling the truth back then. Sasuke's thoughts and feelings were private, no one knew them well. Not even Sakura and Naruto.

Sasuke said nothing, and Ino sighed.

"But she… she said she couldn't stand it, not one more time"

Sasuke's lips narrowed to nothing more then a thin line, but he said nothing, still.

"She went to Tsunade-sama a little more then a month after you left… I don't know the details, but she erased you from her memory"

"Completely?"

Ino swallowed. "Yes, for her it's like you never existed"

She waited for his reaction, but he didn't move, he didn't even flinch. His onyx black eyes were fixed over her head, without any feelings showed in them.

"After it was… when she was…done" Ino stuttered. "Tsunade told us, and we were forbidden to even mention you around Sakura, ever..."

Sasuke snorted. "And that was it?" he spitted out, his voice filled of bitterness.

Ino nodded. "I don't… "But she fell silent. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to say. "She seemed happier that way, not like with you, but… "She sighed. "She was better, Sasuke-kun"

Sasuke's fits clenched when he spoke again. "And Naruto?" He said the name like it tasted bad in his mouth, and spitted it out. Ino felt her heart sink. Naruto had been so down after Sasuke left, and had missed him even after Sakura erased the black ninja from her mind. Ino wasn't sure, but she anticipated that the blonde dobe had been alone. More alone then he ever would let them know.

And when Sasuke finally was back, he hated Naruto more then ever.

"Please Sasuke-kun" Ino begged him, as the black eyes got the blood-soft colour of red. "Don't blame Naruto for this. You know he always liked Sakura, always cared for her, always was there for her"

_Even when you weren't…_ she thought secretly, but she knew that wasn't fair. But really, nothing between Sakura and Sasuke was ever fair for Naruto.

"He tried to be just her friend for a while" she tried to explain. "He tried more then you can ever image… because… because he loves you like brother, and he knew… that she always loved you…"

Ino remembered that time. Naruto pretended that everything was fine, he smiled and joked, like always. But he thought no one was looking, his blue eyes always darted away to Sakura, who happily lived her life, not knowing anything about, not giving a damn about Uchiha Sasuke.

"But he… I suppose he loved her too much, it was… I don't think he'll stand it so much longer…" Ino held her breath, for there was one more thing to say. Something the whole village noticed.

"Because… well, I don't think it will make anything better, but… she isn't the same, even with him…"

Everyone noticed it, even Naruto. But first now she realised how it must be tearing him apart, knowing that even if Sakura had erased Sasuke from her mind, he wasn't really gone from her heart.

Ino had been right, Sasuke didn't look any better. His pale face was illuminated by the moon over them, and in the white light he looked like ghost with terrifying dark eyes that missed every kind of light. Like a skull with deep holes to eyes. The thin lips were drawn in a line, and Ino felt once again afraid of the young man.

There was nothing in his eyes.

Only darkness, and hatred over an ocean of despair.

And Ino remembered was Shikamaru had told her years ago, when she first found her defeated by the fore-head girl. _"It is so unfair!" she had cried in rage and jealousy. "Why her? It's not like she needs him anymore, so it can't possible be out of damn pity!" _

_Shikamaru had looked up from the shogi-board with a bored scowl over his face. "Perhaps Sasuke needs her…Never thought of that?" he said and got Ino to shut up for a whole minute. _

She never really believed it doe, even after she accepted the fact that her friend and the love of her childhood were very happy together. Sasuke was the most powerful ninja since Uchiha Madara, he slayed Orochimaru and his brother Itachi and many more. A man like him couldn't need such a mediocre kunochi as Sakura, even with her amazing strength and healing abilities. The idea was ridiculous.

But with that look over Sasuke-kun's face, that look of a man who knew the feeling of loosing everything, and felt it once again, made her think again.

"She doesn't love him" she said bitterly. It was all so _wrong_!

Sasuke blinked, like he had forgotten she was even there. Then he did something strange, he smiled. A terrible satire of a smile, grim and unforgiving. Like he was mocking his own pain.

"I don't think that matters, she doesn't love me any longer either"

Ino was about to answer, when a loud pound from a door closing echoed down the street and made her jump. "Oh my God, you can't let them see you, Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked. "There are still a lot of people that want to kill you for hurting Sakura, Rock Lee, Tsunade, even Naruto"

"But she isn't hurt anymore, she doesn't even remember being hurt!" Sasuke objected without even flinching from the sound, a bitter clang in his raspy voice. "How could she do that? Did she just wake up one day and decided to erase me from her brain? How can you decide to do something like that?"

At his words, Ino looked away guilty. "It-it's my fault," she stuttered. "Oh God, I'm so sorry…"

"How?" Sasuke demanded to know.

"I tried to knock some sense into her, telling her to be positive and stuff," she wailed. "And I got mad! I told her, 'You have to get over this! What else are you gonna do, erase him from your memory?' but she took it literally! And I tried to stop her, I swear, but she got so dead-set on the idea, nothing I said would help! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault…"

Ino whipped tears from her blue eyes, her gaze fixed on her feet. She couldn't even meet his stare, he must be so angry at her for even giving Sakura that idea. Ino felt like hitting herself really hard. She had been so stupid! If she hadn't done it… then everything would be good now, with Sasuke back and all. If she could change anything in her whole life, it would be telling Sakura to erase Sasuke, but she couldn't. She couldn't do anything. Just sit around and pretend to be happy for Sakura when she claimed to have found the love of her life, pretending not to know anything about the fact that she already found the greatest love Ino had ever seen, and chose to forget about it. It was so unfair! It was so wrong!

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun… I never… I didn't mean it like that!" she sobbed, covering her mouth with her shacking hand. "Oh my God…"

Sasuke stared at the crying girl, his eyes dark again, dark in his white face, like a shadow over the moon. "I don't blame you" he said then.

Ino looked up sharply. "You don't?" she sniffed.

"Certainly not" Sasuke said a little impatiently. "I blame Sakura"

Ino's eyes widened. She had never heard Sasuke talk like that about Sakura. He used to call her annoying, but this was… "What?" she asked weakly.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed when he slowly repeated. "I blame Sakura"

Ino didn't dare to interrupt when he continued with low voice. "She did this. Nobody forced her, she did it because she wanted to. I told her I didn't want to leave, and I gave my word that I would return, but she took the easy way out, as always" he added bitterly. "So far did her love go when it came down to it"

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino protested, attempting to defend her best friend's actions. She may not have agreed with Sakura's choice, but it had to be done – things might have been worse otherwise, and she didn't want to think about that. "You know that, and I know that! Hell, _everybody_ knows that! That's why it hurt her so much, and that why she felt she had to do it. It wasn't easy for her, you have to realize that, Sasuke-kun"

But Sasuke shook his head. "No, if that was the case we wouldn't have this conversation at all"

"But you don't understand, Sasuke-kun!" Ino shouted.

"I understand perfectly" Sasuke said coldly. "She didn't…" but he fell silent as his eyes flashed in red once again. He closed them and took a deep breath. "She couldn't stand it" he said then and his eyes were once again deep holes when he opened them again.

Ino watched the avenger's hidden rage and sorrow as he did his best to fight it, hopelessly, just as with Sakura. She couldn't do anything to ease their pain.

Then Sasuke abruptly turned on his heel and stormed down the street, without another word.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Ino called after him.

"To the hokage!" Sasuke bellowed. "It isn't over yet!"

* * *

Over at the hokage's office Tsunade-sama, one of the three great sanin, the strongest kunochi, together with a Haruno Sakura, one of the greatest medic-ninjas of all time, was heavily asleep over her desk. Her dribble covered most of the papers she used as a pillow as she snored loudly.

Then she suddenly sat up straight up and grimaced. She was picking up a great deal of emotional pain and an overwhelming amount of chakra… Reaching out, she attempted to determine the origin – and she sighed when the source was found. Of course…

It did not come as a surprise to her. She knew Uchiha Saskue would return one day - the only question had been when. As cruel as it was, she had been hoping it would be at a much later date – it would leave more time to find a way to explain why she had done what she had. Even the years that had passed since the incident hadn't adequately prepared Tsunade for what to tell the young man, and she was dreading having to justify her actions.

The great sanin, Hokage Tsunade, was afraid when she felt the chakra coming closer.

Then the door slammed up and Uchiha Sasuke entered. "We need to talk!" he growled without waiting for a word of welcoming.

Ino hurried in a few seconds after his entrance with a terrified look over her face. "I'm so sorry, hokage-sama!" she panted heavily. "I couldn't stop him"

"It's alright, Ino" Tsunade assured her with a smile, even doe it was nothing funny with the situation. "He is right, we do need to talk. Close the door on your way out, will you?"

"Uhm… okay…" Ino threw one last worried glance at Sasuke before she did as she was told, and closed the door carefully.

When they were alone Tsunade sighed and turned to face the angry young man, glaring at her. The demon-red sharingan made the action all the more intimidating, and Tsunade found herself hard-pressed not to flinch under the glower.

"Would you like to sit down?" she asked politely and gestured towards the chair. This would take some time, she reckon. "Is there anything…?"

"Screw that!" Sasuke growled as his eyes flashed. "I want some answers, and I want them now!"

Tsunade sighed once more. This would be complicated. "Fine, just calm down, and I… "

But Sasuke was already shouting again. "Calm down? Why does everybody tell me to calm down? How the hell would you react if someone important to you just took away you from their life?"

Tsunade grimaced. "Point taken" she muttered. She wasn't exactly the best one to tell someone to calm down. "But you need to be quiet, Ino must have told you what will happen if someone finds out that you are back"

Sasuke scowled. "Like they can do anything to me"

Tsunade was once again reminded that power was the source of arrogance and was for a moment tempted to call for Rock Lee or Naruto. They wouldn't be able to beat him, but they wouldn't be as easy as the avenger thought, especially Naruto had done even more progressing since Sasuke left once again. But that would be quite unnecessary, she reasoned. Yes, quite unnecessary. He didn't deserve it, yet. She wasn't foolish enough to not realise that there would be enough fighting around Sasuke when he was back again.

"I guess Ino told you about the situation, what more would you like to know?" she asked politely.

"How about why the hell you did this to her?" Sasuke roared, not giving a damn about those who could hear him. He had done his best to be calm, to control himself, but he wasn't sure how long he could take it anymore.

Tsunade saw his struggle with pity in her nut brown eyes. "Let me explain, Sasuke" she tried, but Sasuke wouldn't let her speak.

"Explain?! How do you explain something like this? Who the hell could you do it in the first place?" Sasuke began, but then Tsunade had enough.

"Sasuke!" she demanded harshly. "I'm trying to explain what happened, but then you have to let me!"

Sasuke stared defiantly at the hokage for a moment, and Tsunade stared back just a fierily. She had to give him credit, not many had met her glare with such lack of fear. Sasuke's lips narrowed to a thin line, and then he looked away.

"Fine" he grumbled and fell silent. How ever, his fists were so knuckled that Tsunade could hear the bone crack in them.

Tsunade sighed and began the little speech she had prepared for this day. "First of all, Sasuke, I never wanted to do it. I never agreed with her decision, but it was clearly that I had no choice"

"Bullshit! You always have a choice!" Sasuke interrupted.

"Listen to me!" Tsunade demanded with a dark voice, matching Sasuke's perfectly. "I would never done it under normal circumstances, a teenage break-up, nothing to worry about. But this was different, it was far more serious, much deeper. Did Ino tell you about Sakura's state?" she asked the man, praying to every god she knew that the young medic had and that Tsunade would be spared from telling him.

"Yes" Sasuke said shortly.

Tsunade exhaled secretly, relived. "Like last time you left, she was very… unstable. She was fragile and isolated herself from everyone. I tried, as many others, to talk her out of it. To help her trough the pain, but she… it was worse then last time. The memories of her happiness were simply preventing her from experiencing more. I was forced to acquiesce to her wishes, for her own good"

"You mean I wasn't good for her?" Sasuke asked her.

Tsunade gave him her sincerely answer. "You know you wasn't, not always"

Sasuke opened his mouth to object, but Tsunade continued. "I'm not saying she didn't love you, because she did. She loved you more then anyone I've ever met loved anyone… and you made her happy, more then anyone. But you also hurt her, more then anyone, and so many times, Sasuke... too many times"

"It was never my intentions" Sasuke swore in a low voice.

"It doesn't change the fact that she was hurt, a numerous times" Sasuke shock his head, like he tried to get rid of her hard words.

"I did it for her, I left for _her_" he mumbled. "You don't understand, he almost _killed_ her" he remembered with a hiss. That monster, he had almost… No, he didn't want to think of that.

Tsunade looked at him, reading his thoughts. "As I did this for her. Understand Sasuke, she couldn't deal with it, not one more time. It was necessary for her safety"

But Sasuke wasn't listening, an other question rose inside of him. "Is it permanently? It there anyway you can bring back the memories?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice clean from desperation.

Tsunade sighed and looked away, the answer written over her young face. "No, the memories wasn't buried, Sasuke" she explained with a heavy heart. "They were completely whipped out- there is nothing to bring back"

For a second Sasuke looked like he was going to kill her. The sharingan was lighten in his eyes and the pale spider-long hands moved, unconsciously, to do the chidori-seal. His face was a cold mask, the thin lips pressed hardly together.

"Sasuke…" Tsunade began warningly.

Then the man collapsed, as suddenly as he had been stolen of all his chakra. He tumbled down in the chair behind him, burying his face in his violently shaking hands. "No…" he mumbled weakly. "No…"

Tsunade said nothing. She turned to the window and looked out over Konoha, as the sun slowly rose and coloured the night sky pink. She felt intimidate to see this ninja, this dark avenger on the very edge of breaking down. So she pretended she wasn't even in the room, focusing totally on the view. But then she caught a swift glance of white hair outside the window and sighed. _Of course…_

"It's not fair" Sasuke whispered in a broken tone. _"It's not fair!"_

"I know" Tsunade agreed, trying to comfort him but it was all in vain. Sasuke was not to be comfort by empty words.

"You know?" His head flew up sharply. "What do you know? Nothing"

Tsunade didn't reply, she couldn't… she didn't even had an answer. So she just let Sasuke continue.

But Sasuke said no more. Whatever pain he must be feeling, he kept it to himself. He never shared it, he never gave anything away. The only one who he ever showed his pain to was gone forever. Tsunade felt tears rise in her eyes, it was truly unfair.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke" she told him, more for her own sake then his. "If there is anything I can do…" she offered, knowing that in reality, nothing would alleviate her guilt for the role she played in all of this.

But Sasuke just shook his head. "What could you do?" he sneered. "You can't change the past, you can't do this undone… you can't bring her back… she is…"

He got up form the chair so fast that it almost tipped backwards. "I have to go" he said hoarsely and hurried towards the door, not even a second glance back. The door slammed after him and Tsunade sighed.

"Kakashi, come out" she called silently.

The white-haired ninja climbed easily in trough the window and greeted the hokage with a wink of his hand. "Yo" But his voice was hoarsely and lacked the usual brightness.

"You heard it?" It was not really a question.

"Every word" Kakashi mumbled truthfully.

Tsunade gave him a quick glance. The eye that was visible under the head-band was filled with sorrow and pity for his former students. Tsunade hesitated, then she made up her mind. "Keep an eye on him" she ordered sternly.

Kakashi chuckled sadly. "He won't like that, you know"

"He needs it, make sure he doesn't get into any fight" Tsunade said impenitently and began drying of saliva from her notes on the desk. "God knows who many that want to kill him right now. He can't deal with them all, especially not in this state. Keep him away from Narutp, also. The last we need is another fight between the two of them"

Kakashi nodded. "And what if he goes looking for Sakura?"

Tsunade frown, her hand halfway towards a paper that soared down at the floor. She paused for a moment, not sure.

"You know he will do it" Kakashi assured her. If anything was sure about Sasuke it was that he wouldn't accept this, not without talking to her.

Tsunade looked Kakashi in the one eye. "Then you'll stop him"

* * *

_**A/N:**_ What is Sasuke going to do? Well, all I can say is that someone is going to cry, and someone is going to get pined to a wall.

You wanna know more detailed, you'll just read next chapter! It will be up within a month, sort of. Here's spoiler for it. Enjoy, and review… please.

"_Sasuke, stop it!" she demanded, like he was a bad dog that didn't serve its masters well enough. But nonetheless, Sasuke didn't listen. As Shikamaru stumbled to the ground, Sasuke moved with a speed he once stole from the young man he was going to attack. _

_But before he even got close to the ninja, who took fighting stance himself, a light voice, the only voice that ever had made Sasuke stop, sounded trough the crowd._

"_Lee-san!" _

_Sasuke felt his heart jump a beat. His sharingan-red eyes widened. No… not now, not ever again. No!

* * *

_See ya! 

Phritzen


	5. Torture

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners.

* * *

**

_------_

_**A love to remember**_

_Chapter IV: Torture_

"_Ah! you can die, the world can collapse, I have lost the one I love. I must now live in this terrible solitude where memory is torture." - Albert Camus_

_------

* * *

_

When the door to the hokage's building shut behind him, Sasuke wasn't sure what to do. He had used all of his powers to get out of the house without breaking down into crying pieces, and now when he had succeeded, the power left him. He was so tired, he could barley move.

He didn't want to think.

He couldn't _let_ himself think, not yet.

He had to move… move! Like a sleepy zombie Sasuke began wandering down the street, every step took all of the self-control he had left. _Go, go, go, just go…_

The sun shined brightly over his head, the cloud-free sky painfully blue. Like it was mocking his pain with preferring one of the most beautiful days he had ever seen. The streets began being filled with people. Children on their way to the academy, grown-up on their way to work, all talking and laughing in the fine morning. Sasuke felt like a ghost, an evil spirit, walking among them. He kept his gaze far away from their faces. If he had looked, he would have recognized many of them. But he couldn't.

She was gone…

_She was gone. _

He tried to get it, tried to understand the meaning of those cursed words. That she was _gone_, all they had… nothing. She could be dead to him, she didn't remember him. He didn't exist in her world. Tears build up in his eyes, and he swallowed. He had been trying to keep them down, ever since Ino told him, but know it felt like he couldn't do it anymore. If it wasn't for his pride, he would have collapsed on the street and screamed of the agony that tore him apart inside.

But he didn't.

He just walked.

He didn't even know where he was going. His apartment? Yes, that would probably be the best place. It would be a mess in there, but he didn't think it would hurt him so much. He had slept in worse places in these years. As the sun rose he made his way to the part of the village where he lived. It was almost comical, the way his thoughts were drawn to the same spot no matter how hard he avoided it. The same spot as always. But with the difference that this time he would have given everything to keep them away from there.

Sakura.

All he could think of were the 'what if?'s. What if he hadn't left? What if he had come back sooner? What if he had said something differently, what if he had changed something?

…No. No, he couldn't live like that, questioning everything, constantly looking back to the past in a futile attempt to change the future.

Sasuke growled and hurried his steps.

* * *

Sasuke opened the door to his apartment and stepped in. Dust covered the floor and flew up in the air by every step he took in to the room. Spider webs hanged in the corners of the ceilings and the windows were so dirty that he couldn't see the trees outside. 

No one had been there for months.

It was the same little rooms that he'd lived in since his parents died. He walked over to the filthy windows and looked out. This was where he'd stood and silently said goodbye to Team 7 for the first time, almost nine years ago. It seemed like a life-time.

Sasuke never regretted anything, at least not consciously. It was not his way of living. He had so many things, done so many things, worth regretting that if he started think about it, it would kill him. He hadn't regretted leaving Konoha for power all those years ago, just as he never regretted leaving the second time to finally kill Itachi. He had his reason, and as long as he kept them close to his heart, no one could ever judge him.

He was well aware that living like that had made him evil. That it had made him cold, dark and unaccompanied, it had made him heartless and unforgiving, merciless and ruthful. It had made him his own brother.

Sasuke knew all that, he didn't need Naruto to scream it into his face when they were sixteen and then drag him back to Konoha. Sasuke knew that all along. He knew it was the price he had to pay for revenge. The pleasure in killing his brother, the purpose he dedicated his life to so long ago. It was worth it, he had told himself. What did he cared of what would become of him after the death of Itachi, as Kakashi had told him when he was still a kid?

Sasuke knew he couldn't regret, not now, not ever. Doubt was a contribution a man like him couldn't afford.

But for the first time in his life, he felt regret.

All those damned questions filled his head and drove him to the brink of insanity. What if? _What if?_ What if he'd never left? What if he'd given up on Itachi long ago? What if he had chosen life and love instead of death and vengeance? But he hadn't. He never could have done that. It was painful only to remember, but Sakura had told him the second time he prepared to leave.

"_Why am I even surprised?" she asked and laughed hysterical and the tears build up in her emerald green eyes. "I know you! I know you can't be happy if as long as Itachi lives in this world. You don't care what happens as long as he is still out there. Not about Konoha, not about me, heck, you don't even care about yourself!"_

Sasuke shut his eyes. She had been right. Only after his return, when everybody thought Itachi was dead, he could let himself be happy. He and Sakura, it had been the best time of his life. Those handfuls of months when he didn't have to be the avenger anymore, when power didn't matter to him. He had fulfilled his purpose in life. In the beginning he had felt so empty, his existence wasn't necessary anymore. But then she showed up, and slow but steadily, he found a new purpose.

Sakura.

Sakura had been his purpose. Her joy and her wellbeing, the knowledge that she was safe became his goal. Helping her, being with her. Much as when they were younger, and she always claimed to love him, he smiled bitterly at the memory. He had always brushed her off as annoying. The avenger couldn't feel something as trivial as _love_, especially not for a silly pink-haired little stalker girl.

But he had been there for her, whenever she needed him, what ever it would cost to protect her. He didn't call her Sakura-chan, or tried to kiss her, or asked her out. Whenever she said she loved him he scoffed and hurt her, just to make her stop it.

She never did.

Was that love? Never giving up, like Sakura? Being ready to risk everything, like Sasuke? He didn't know. Even after Sakura's and his relationship he didn't understood the feeling and its power.

But it was obviously not that strong. After all those years, Sakura had finally given up, he thought bitterly.

"_She loved you more then anyone I've ever met loved anyone… and you made her happy, more then anyone. But you also hurt her, more then anyone, and so many times, Sasuke... too many times"_

Tsunade's voice rang in his ears and he shook his head violently. He didn't need that right now. He didn't need it ever! How could she do that? After all the time she screamed to him how much she loved him, she did this to him? Sasuke slammed his fits in the board in front of him.

"Damnit!"

He wanted to blame her, he wanted to hate her. He wanted to blame her for _everything_ – for erasing him, for dating _Naruto_, for causing him all this pain… But at the same time, his heart couldn't bare that kind of loathing against her – it still wanted her to come back to him, for her to hold him in her arms and smother him with her gentle kisses. Those warring feelings were tearing Sasuke apart inside, and he wanted them to stop.

"_I know you can't be happy if as long as Itachi lives in this world!"_

Sasuke grumbled between his teeth. She had been right. As soon as he found out that Itachi was still alive, that the monster that destroyed his life was still breathing, nothing, not even Sakura mattered to him anymore.

He had given up Sakura for Itachi. He'd thought it just been for a short time, that she would be waiting for him when he returned… but she hadn't. When he gave up on her for Itachi, it had been forever. The question was: would he done the same if he'd known what would happen?

Sasuke bit his lower lip. Regret he never felt before consumed him inside. His fists knuckled as he took a deep breath. Blowing up the apartment wouldn't do anything better, even if it felt so.

"Sasuke-kun, hello?" a light voice called behind as someone knocked on the door. Sasuke turned around, with an annoyed scowl over his face. He didn't want any visitors right now!

Ino blushed under his stare and held out a bowl of tomatoes towards him, like a sacrifice to appease a horrifying god. "I-I brought you some food…" she stuttered. "I thought you might be hungry…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He hadn't eaten in days, but then again… he rarely felt hunger these days. But still, he took them. "Thank you" he mumbled and placed them on the table beside him without another glance at the red vegetables.

Ino smiled, at least she tried to, but it looked more like nervous grimace. "It was nothing, anyway… you shouldn't be alone after… I mean, as a… well…"

The silence that fell was like a blanket that tried to suffocate over them, but Sasuke did no attempt to break it. If he was lucky maybe it _would_ choke him for real.

But of course, Sasuke was never a lucky man.

"Is… is there anything you want, Sasuke-kun… to…" _what, make it better?_ Ino didn't know what she was going to say. But the look on Sasuke-kun's pale face scared her.

The onyx dark eyes were hollow and the dark rings under them made him sick. They looked at her with absolutely no feelings, like she wasn't even there. He wasn't angry any more, he didn't grieve, he only looked… empty. Like Sakura didn't only erase him from her memory, but also from the real world. Like the Sasuke in front of her was a spirit, or a ghost. A haunted creature, not even able to feel pain in his deserted soul. Only emptiness, only oblivion.

Ino almost cried for him, on the spot, once again.

She knew that look. Sakura had worn it on her face for weeks after he left.

"I want to see Naruto" Sasuke said hollowly. Without caring what she replied he walked past her and went trough the door.

"B-b-but… you _can't_!" Ino shrieked after him. "If Sakura…"

"I have no intentions for Sakura to see me" Sasuke interrupted coolly. Ino opened her mouth to object, but closed it again. Nothing she could say would stop him. She just looked after him as he walked down the hallway, his slowly step echoed against the walls. Then, when he was gone, she did what she should have done from the moment she first realized that Uchiha Sasuke was back. Her hands were almost not shaking when she picked up her purple cell phone and dialled a number she knew in her sleep, but rarely had the guts to call.

She called to Shikamaru.

As she waited for him t pick up and heard the annoying tone, she couldn't stand still. She began pacing trough the corridor in rhythm to the beeps, and went to the windows were Sasuke just stormed out beneath her, following the street towards Naruto's apartment.

"Yeah?" A slothful voice sunddenly told her in the middle of a beep. The old tingling in Ino's stomach made it's self reminded.

"Oh, H-h-hi Shikamaru" she piped and sounded like a blonde version of Hinata. Damn, she felt like slamming her head in the closest wall.

"Ino, can this wait?" The Shadow-ninja asked her tiredly and she heard him sigh trough the rasp of the phones. "We're soon leaving for the mission"

"No, it can't!" Ino quickly made clear, in case he would hang up on her. If she wasn't so nervous she should have realised that Nara Shikamaru never hanged up on a woman, even a troublesome one. "We have a problem"

She could almost the ninja wrinkle his forehead. "Troublesome…" he mumbled, more to himself, but she couldn't agree less this time. "What's going on?" Ino looked out as the Sasuke turned around the corner and was out of her sight, and sighed.

"Sasuke is back"

* * *

He knew were that dobe lived. Of course. His memories were as clearly as the day of this place, in difference to someone else, he added bitterly to himself. His knuckles cracked a little more as he thought of that blonde, ramen-loving idiot. Hadn't they been friends? Ore at least as closely at Sasuke ever let anyone? They had their differences, but as long as they kept out of the things that weren't their business it was cool. 

And Sakura wasn't Naruto's business.

Sasuke grimaced and felt his chakra build up. It would feel so good, finally hitting someone, punishing someone for all this. He'd been keeping it inside for so long. And Naruto was just the guy. But still, he couldn't really get it. Naruto? Of all people, Naruto? It was like the gods were playing some horrible sick game with him and laughing at his pain.

He turned around the corner of the street and got a blurry vision of shopping-street full of people before something black and green launched himself at the sharingan-ninja, who barley had time to bend away from the fists.

"_YOU!_"

Sasuke staggered backwards and raised his hands, as his eyes went red in an instant. The green-dressed attacker tried to strike him at virtual points of his body, but Sasuke stepped back and ducked, trying to grasp what was going on. "What the…?"

"You evil, lying, _hurting_, cowardly, excuse for a youthful man!" the man roared in his ear. Sasuke grimaced as he realised who it was.

"Rock Lee..."

"No, I shall not listen and be tricked by your cunning lies!" the green ninja interrupted manically and still did his best to hit Sasuke anywhere he could get. Sasuke sighed, when he said to himself that he wanted to fight someone, he didn't exactly mean this mediocre ninja. I would hardly be fun at all.

People around them stopped and looked terrified on the street, as they whispered to each other. Sasuke got more attention then he wanted, as he parried Rock Lee's hits. How many here hated him with such passion as the fuzzy eyebrow?

"Rock Lee!" he hissed therefore. "Stop this!" But the ninja just got a fine when Sasuke let his guard down for a slight second. He grabbed Sasuke's collar and the dark ninja found him showed against the wall of a shopping-house, with a slam.

"How dare you even walk this streets after what you are responsible of?!" the shorter young man roared in the other's pale face, who simply scowled once again. This was annoying.

"Let me go, Rock Lee" he demanded. He didn't want to fight himself free, though. Coming back and killing someone the first twenty-four hour wasn't a good idea, he realised.

Still, he glared at his attacker, threateningly. But the ninja was immune to his frown, and just scowled back. "You shouldn't be here!"

"But I am" Sasuke snapped, and felt his chakra build up. If this _idiot_ didn't shut up soon…

But Rock Lee didn't shut up. "Sakura-san is well without your presence!" he growled in anger that was unlike the green, cheery ninja. "Better then with it!"

That was it for Sasuke.

His hands formed the seal without thinking, the fingers moving on his own. His blood red eyes fixed on Rock Lee's and already saw the red liquid of his body flow over his own pale hands, death… it was sweet times like these. The lightning spread from his finger, as that special sound of thousands of birds filled the air. Someone screamed in shock and people stumbled back from them as Sasuke raised his lightning-sparkling fists. Rock Lee's eyes were wide with fear and Sasuke saw his own reflection in the black pupils. It would be the last thing he ever saw… "_Chidori_!"

"Stop it!"

Sasuke froze in one movement, but not because he wanted it. Rock Lee stumbled backwards and fell down to the ground in his eagerness to get away from the Uchica. Sasuke felt the tingeling feeling in his hands die as the jutsu faded away. He simply couldn't move. Like he was frozen to ice. Only his eyes flashed frantically over the scene. _Who dared doing this to him?!_

Ino stepped forwards trough the crowd and patted her fellow-ninja on his shoulder. "Great Shikamaru" she smiled. Shikamaru sat on the dusty road with his hands clasped together in the shadow-copy seal, and sighed slothfully. "Troublesome…"

Ino rolled her baby-blue eyes, but when she turned to Sasuke, her eyes were like piercing eyes. Sasuke scowled and glared back, as he struggled to get free. This was _humiliating_!

Shikamaru moaned behind them. "Hurry up with the talk Ino, the guy is _strong_" he grumbled between his teeth.

"I will" Ino said sternly and went over to Sasuke, wo had no choice but to stare at her as she approached him. Rock Lee got to his feats with a bow. "Ino-san, Shimakaru-san" he greeted them.

When also that fat guy, whose name Sasuke never bothered to remember, stepped out of the astonished crowd calmly eating the usual sort of chips, he bowed once again. "Choji-san"

Ino smiled brightly once again. "Rock Lee, are you ok?"

The green ninja nodded. "Yes, of course, but it seems like…" he cast a disgusted glance at Sasuke, who followed the conversation as if he was a part of the house's wall. "this traitor has…"

"We already know he has returned" Ino interrupted. "He has seen Tsunade-sama and she is ok with it"

Rock Lee raised his unnatural thick eyebrows. "Hogake-sama let him stay in our village after all he has done…"

Ino nodded. "Yes, and if he accepts it you should. A professional ninja like you shouldn't rush into a fight like that, on an open street and all. What is someone got hurt?"

"Ino!" Shikamaru reminded her impenitently, it wasn't a piece of cake for him to hold he enraged Sasuke like this. "Save it!"

"Oh, right!" Ino blushed and jumped a little. Then she turned to Sasuke, who just stared at her. He couldn't really do anything else.

Ino didn't say anything either. Before, she'd seamed sorry, and a little timid in front of him. Now, she stared at him with a cold gaze, and the respect and fear he used to see in people's eyes were missing.

"Are you stupid, Sasuke?" she asked him then, and Sasuke saw both Shikamaru and Choji raise an eyebrow at the lack of the usual suffix. "You think a random fight will make it better?" she continued. "I know this is horrible, but control yourself, please!"

Rock Lee snorted. "Ino-san, this is not horrible to him. If it was, then would he left in the first place?" he said and glared venomously at Sasuke, who returned the frown with whole his heart. "He does not care about Sakura-san!"

Sasuke did an attempt to launch himself over the green combat-ninja. How dared he? Shikamaru began shaking as his hands almost released their grasp. "Ino!" he gasped.

"Sasuke, stop it!" she demanded, like he was a bad dog that didn't serve its masters well enough. But nonetheless, Sasuke didn't listen. As Shikamaru stumbled to the ground, Sasuke moved with a speed he once stole from the young man he was going to attack.

But before he even got close to the ninja, who took fighting stance himself, a light voice, the only voice that ever had made Sasuke stop, sounded trough the crowd.

"Lee-san!"

Sasuke felt his heart jump a beat. His sharingan-red eyes widened. _No… not now, not ever again. No!_ And then, with a swiftness that no one even could get with his own eyes, he was gone.

* * *

Sakura hurried down the lane and made her way trough the crowd that once again began moving. "What's going on here?" she asked a little panting, looking in the stern faces of her friends. "Shikamaru? Choji? Weren't you going on a mission this morning?" she asked confused. When they didn't answer, she looked over to her best friend. "Ino? Is there something wrong?" 

But Ino just laughed, a little high-pitched maybe, but extraordinarily convincing. "Not at all, we just got a problem with some drunken man. He attacked Lee, but luckily, Shikamaru was here to stop him with his shadow-copy jutsu" With those words she glanced warmly at the shadow-ninja, who just yawned and scathed the back of his head. "Yeah, whatever…"

"I would have been perfectly fine!" Rock Lee insisted, in a way that wasn't fully acting. But Ino just gave him a cold stare.

"That's what _friends_ are for, Lee" she said significant. "Now, shouldn't you be _training_ for the _exam_? And what about you mission?" she asked, and turned to Shikamaru and Choji, who raised their hands protectively. "Troublesome… you were the one who said Sas…"

"Well, go back then!" Ino interrupted quickly with a nervous glance at the pink kunochin. All the boys muttered something and trudged away, feeling both used and yelled at.

Ino saw them go, and then she turned to Sakura, who was looking up in the summer-blue sky, with that kind of expression Shikamaru used to have when he was watching clouds. Ino sighed, then picked up her cheery mask and smiled brightly. "So, Sakura, what's you plan for the day?"

Sakura blinked a little, like she just woke up from a daydream. "It's a fine day, I think I'll take a stroll down the park and read or something"

Ino groaned secretly. There it was again, one of those little habits that were connected to Sasuke. Both times the ninja left, Sakura made it her tendency to sit by the bench in the park all day, simply sitting there. She hadn't stopped yet, even doe she didn't remember him, she still missed him.

The thought made Ino's fair cheeks flush. Maybe she had been too hard on Sasuke? But Shikamaru had told her before they arrived, that as long as Sasuke was in the village, Sakura was in danger. And Ino had to agree. And the fact that Sasuke never meant to hurt Sakura, didn't change the fact that he had done it, nonetheless. Ino remembered with a shiver and cast a glimpse of her dreamingly best friend, as she strolled down the street. _It had been so close…_

No, Ino decided determinedly. Sasuke couldn't stay. Even if he wished to.

* * *

Sasuke jumped over the rooftops of his home village. He was breathing heavily, and felt his heart beat rapidly against his ribs. For every step he took he had only one thing in mind, to put the greatest distance between himself and Sakura. 

He wanted away.

For the split of a second, he felt like a scared and confused child again, running for his life. It was the way she had called the OTHER ninja's name. It was the way she didn't say his name. No squeal of happiness over the fact that he was alive and well. Only worry over the other one, that medioce ninja with the annoying attitude. She didn't care about him, she didn't know him.

It made him realise it was true.

Sakura had erased him.

Sasuke stopped on a branch of a tree, just behind the hospital. He felt numb. To keep himself from falling he had to put one hand to the tree, but his knees were wobbling so badly that he could barley stand up anyway. His pale hand clutched over his chest, his finger dug into the texture of the black clothes. This pain wasn't real, it couldn't be _real_! He felt sick, like he was punctured inside and empty and messy and just… broken. He couldn't remember feeling like this in ages.

Hoarsely, without turning around from the tree he whispered: "Stop insulting me by thinking I don't know you are there, Kakashi. Show yourself!" he demanded quietly.

He heard the rustles from the leaves as the scarecrow-ninja stepped put of the greenery that had been his hiding place. He stopped almost immediately, like he didn't want to come too close the dark ninja. Sasuke felt a hesitation in his steps that he never felt from his former sensei before.

They didn't speak until Kakashi finally broke the silence between them. "You are back" he noted.

"Obviously" Sasuke answered quite sternly, without moving away from the tree. If he stepped away, he might collapse to the ground.

"Yes, obviously" Kakashi agreed, also quite sternly.

The silence fell again, as the wind blew trough the branches and rustled. Sasuke felt the sun down his pale neck from its place in the sky, but it felt cold. Like the heat of the sun didn't reach him. Like he was too frozen for the greatest fire to heat up. Sasuke rarely felt cold, not even in winter. But now he was freezing to ice, one piece at the time.

"Are you going to yell at me too?" he asked his former teacher, with only a trace of mockery buried on his raspy voice. "Tell me I deserve it?"

"No" Kakashi said simply.

"Great" Sasuke answered indifferently and felt his numb finger grasp harder over his heart. Was it still pounding in there? How much pain could he take?

Kakshi sighed, this wasn't going to be easy. He scratched the back of his silver-spiky head before starting. "You know… you got to leave"

Sasuke snorted, still without moving.

Kakashi tried once again. "You can't stay, if she sees you…"

"She wouldn't even recognize me, so I can't see what the problem is" Sasuke said sharply. His knuckles clenched once again. "She doesn't know me anymore" he hissed.

Kakashi said nothing. He knew enough about his confidential former student to know when he should say nothing. Sasuke shoulders were trembling for a moment, but when he turned around to face Kakashi, his features were strained but cold. Kakashi only visible eye narrowed at the sight.

_He is so… old_, it came trough his mind. As a teacher, Kakashi had always seen his students as the pure, little kids (well, as pure and childish Sasuke ever could be) and even after all they been trough, he still saw the little dark and lonesome child Sasuke had been when they first met. But the Sasuke in front of him wasn't just grown up, he was more then that. He was _old_.

The lines in his pale, noble face were deep and the black rings under his even darker eyes gave him the look of a hollow ghost. The dark clothes hung from him, the bony body almost completely cowered. His hair was longer, unruly over his face. The sun from the blue sky over them seemed to leave him in shadow intentionally, wanting nothing to do with the dark avenger, feeling, seeing the darkness and corruption in his soul, knowing that sunshine was nothing for a man like that.

"I am sorry, Sasuke" was all Kakashi could say right then. And he was truly sorry. A lump of guilt grew like a cancer in belly, it felt like a stone. If he done it different, if he hadn't let Sasuke go in the first place, if he hadn't let Sakura do it… There was so much that could be done differently. But for now, he wanted Sasuke to understand. He didn't wish for the young man to hate his only friends with a fire that would in these years perhaps save him from breakdown, but in a few years consume him. Hatred had already destroyed his life more then once, but men like Sasuke had a tendency to make the same mistake over and over.

"Don't hate her, Sasuke" he said gravely, his only eye dug into Sasuke's dark ones. But Sasuke snorted and turned away.

"Hn" That classic sound from him was like a sweet wind from the past, and Kakashi let it drift over him and felt nostalgia from better times ache inside him. Times when he was younger, Naruto fought Sasuke, Sakura loved Sasuke, and Sasuke was just a grumpy kid that refused to show his respect for Naruto, or love for Sakura.

But the picture faltered and this old, sinister version of Sasuke was in front of him. "I mean it Sasuke" he tried again. "It will do you no good"

Sasuke snorted. "Hn, haven't we covered this before?" he asked sardonically. "I think it was right on this spot, actually" He looked around at the threes and leaves around them.

Kakashi sighed. "It was a long time ago, when I could just tie you to a three and force you to think over your actions" he said quietly.

Sasuke nodded, remembering with a cold smirk over his face. "I think I didn't listen back then either…"

Kakashi felt a desperate bird flutter inside of him, in something oddly comparable to panic. He swallowed and tried again, starting his face out again so that the casual mask wouldn't show what was really inside. "She is happy, Sasuke, don't ruin it for her now"

Sasuke said nothing, but his dark eyes narrowed as the glared down at his fists.

"Don't take that away from her. If you love her, you shouldn't force her to go through it again. She couldn't deal with it last time, and she won't do it now"

"So that's why you let her do it…" Sasuke interrupted in a dark hiss, not looking up from his feet. "Because she _couldn't deal with it_?!" He spitted out the last words like they tasted bad in his mouth. "I left because of her! I _survived_ because of her!"

Kakashi said nothing as Sasuke threw his head back and let out a laugh, a terrible satire of a laugh that echoed up in the beautiful sky. "Did you guess that, Kakashi?" he asked him, smirking as if he was amused by the ironic in the situation. "That every time as was close to death, every _fucking_ time, I thought about her! That I couldn't die, I couldn't give up, without seeing her one last time, talk to her… I couldn't… I was…" Sasuke took a deep breath and stopped the stream of words. "I guess I've learned my lesson" he ended bitterly.

"Sasuke, I never wanted her to erase you! I tried to talk her out of it, we all did!" Kakashi exclaimed, taking a step closer to his student. But Sasuke just shook his dark head, in disgust over them, these people he once respected and called friends, whom he might even admired once.

"Then why didn't you stop her!? Everybody been telling me how they tried, but how fucking hard can it be just to force her not to do it? Tsunade is the hokage, damnit!" he roared, but then turned around abruptly. Something wet, and tremendously humiliating covered his eyes, for a moment and he couldn't, _wouldn't_ let anyone see it! _He was not going to cry! HE WAS NOT GOING TO CRY!_

"We couldn't let her go on the way she did" Kakashi tried to explain, the memories of what had happen still making him feel strangely cold.

Sasuke's head snapped up. "What are you talking about?" He demanded to know.

Kakashi sighed and lokked away, damn, he didn't want to be the one giving Sasuke this news. "Sasuke, after you left… she… she couldn't go on…"

Sasuke didn't understand, refused to understand. "What is that supposed to mean?!" he asked, his dark eyes narrowing to slits. "Damnit, just be straight to the point, Kakashi! Don't walk around it, like you always do!" There it was, Kakashi thought with a sad smile. The attack. When Uchiha Sasuke felt insecure, or stupid, he either ran or attacked. Kakashi knew that too well, after all, Sasuke had been a copy of himself as young, and the man he was now was the man Kakashi could have turned out to if Obito hadn't crossed his path. Kakashi felt the old gratefulness towards the dead Uchiha-boy rise inside of him, he had saved him.

But the young, fiery man before him wasn't saved. And the only one that ever could have, that might have, was erased out of his life. _He deserves the truth…_

"She tried to kill herself"

Sasuke froze, his sharp intake of breath almost sounding like a hiss in the sunny light. His eyes narrowed, but the proud handsome face of his showed no sign of pain. He stared at Kakashi with pure hatred glowing out of his eyes for telling him this ridicules lie. Kakashi met his glare and saw the onyx colour swift to blood-red.

"Sasuke" he warned.

Then Sasuke spun around and slammed his fist into the tree behind him, letting out a howl of frustration. It had all gone wrong, so _fucking, fucking_ wrong! The tree jarred dangerously all the way down to the roots, and a couple of shrieking black birds fluttered out of their nest. Kakashi watched with his hands in his pockets as a hand of leaves danced down at them. Sasuke shook his head as one of them landed in his hair, his eyes still fiery red as they glared at him.

"Tell me exactly what happened"

Kakashi stared calmly back at him. "Whatever I'll tell you won't change the fact that you can't see her"

Sasuke nodded swiftly, but couldn't made it more clear that he didn't give damn about what the told him he could and not. "Hn"

But Kakashi decided to take that problem when it came. "It was like last time you left, we all expected her to take it hard… but" Kakashi scratched the back of his head, sighing. He hated remembering this part. "It was worse, and we didn't notice it… we tried to talk to her, but let her alone after a while. We thought she would snap out of it, sooner or later. But we didn't even know if you were alive, and she didn't know if she should have her hopes and wait for you. It was impossible for her to move on, thinking you perhaps were still out there, or could be dead since weeks… She couldn't handle it"

Sasuke closed his eyes, but said nothing.

Kakashi felt that bitter taste of loosing he really never got over, since he was a winning-crazy kid and winning and success had been his world. And know he thought, for the hundred of times, that they done things differently, if _he_ done things differently things, Sakura wouldn't have gone so far.

"We… we should've seen it coming" he said, his voice actually shaking a little. "We… she… she began quitting doing mission. When someone attacked, she just didn't bother defending herself. Naruto told me something like that happened the last time too. Naruto… he saved her life, more then once. But the last time, he almost died himself, ended up on the hospital. Sakura didn't even visit him, she just looked herself up in her room, crying over what a misrable ninja she was.

Sasuke shook his head violently, like he tried to get Kakashi's words out of his head.

But Kakshi continued, merciless. "She almost did it, Sasuke. One day she was gone, and we couldn't find her. Naruto was the one coming up with were she would go… the forest of death"

Sasuke looked up. _Forest of death?! _

"It was almost too late... Sasuke, he saved her life" Kakashi insisted. "When we got there, she had already tried to drown herself. If Naruto hadn't…" Not wanting to give any details in what Naruto had done, Kakashi cleared his throat. "Don't hate him Sasuke, he took care of her"

"You mean I didn't?" Sasuke snapped.

Kakashi chose not to answer that. "Let her go" he said slowly, not demanding, but almost… begging. "For Sakura's sake"

"Hn"

Sasuke didn't say anything more for a long moment. He stared down at the street far away beneath them, his dark eyes shadowed. Then, he smirked, like he found something funny.

"You think it's that easy? Just decide it and poof? Kakashi, I haven't the luxury of getting her erased for my memo…" Sasuke suddenly stopped in the middle of the word. His dark eyes widened as an amazing idea struck him. The perfect solution, the only fair way out…

Kakashi stared at the young man, wary, as a dark light seemed to illuminate his pale face as the idea cam to him. "Sasuke…" he began as he realised what went through the ninja's mind. "Don't think--"

But as Sasuke looked up as his former sensei, whatever fire that would have made Kakashi fight, just sighed, gave up and died. The dark pools were as cold as a frosty winter night and no sun, no spark of hope was to be seen. Only despair. And a terrible determination etched in every line of his face.

Kakashi had seen it before, yes, he had seen it enough for a lifetime.

Sakura had been wearing the same look in her pale and sick face when she told them her solution, and Kakahsi knew which words that would come from the dark ninjas thin lips before he uttered them. And the first-class ANBU-ninja, a man that learned to show no fear, no emotions, to not get frightened what ever he faced, whatever he would hear, still he closed his one eye as Sasuke opened his mouth.

But he couldn't shut out the words, the words, that confirmed the nightmare they all were trapped in, and made the ironic pain in this crystal-clear.

"I want to erase Sakura from my memory"

* * *

**A/N:** Oh my… this is getting really angsty. I hope Sasuke isn't too OOC, I've been trying really hard with giving him that spice of jerkiness, and anguish that is him. 

So, next chapter:

Sasuke want to erase Sakura? Will this be ok for Tsunade? And what will Naruto say? Biiig confrontation between Sasuke and his long life brother/enemy/rival/best friend: Naruto.

But also… 10 reviews… come on guys! Pleease review more, for my poor egos sake!

//Phritzen

But P.S Nothernlight rules! She is my hero! D.S

* * *


	6. Greeneyed monster

* * *

Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners. **

* * *

_--_

_**A love to remember**_

_Chapter V_

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!  
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock  
The meat it feeds on.

William Shakespeare

_--_

* * *

"_I want to erase Sakura from my memory" _

* * *

Chapter 5 –

"Erase Sakura? Absolutely not!" exclaimed Tsunade, and shook her head vehemently. "I can't do that!"

"You did it for her" Sasuke said lowly, in a dark tone. "Now do it to me!"

They were back at the hokage's office, Tsunade staring at Saskue like she thought he had finally lost it. Kakashi said nothing, just stood hidden in the shadow of a corner. His porn book was for the moment completely forgotten in his pocket. Sasuke was standing in the middle of the room, his dark pools to eyes narrowed at the hokage.

Tsunade sighed in aggravation. "Uchiha, I am not some couple therapist! This is something you have to work out on you own. It is not right to make such a decision simply to spite Sakura of her actions"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously at the hokage. He took a step forward, and Kakashi frowned warily, but Tsunade didn't even blink. The dark ninja stopped in front of her desk and glared down at her.

"I want this done" he said slowly, so every word echoed in the soundless room. "And I won't be spiting Sakura, because she won't even find out. If she couldn't live with this, then what duty do I have to do so? You freed Sakura from the burden, now do the same for me"

"I really don't believe you realize what you are asking me to do"

"If you don't do it, I'll find someone else who will"

Silence fell after those words. The two ninjas seized up each other over the desk, having come to an impasse and neither willing to budge. Tsunade saw Sasuke's desperation, as Sasuke saw hers. None of them wanted to do this, none of them could do otherwise.

But Tsunade was the one forced to concede - the information in Sasuke's memories could be dangerous in the hands of the wrong people, and both knew it.

"Alright" she grumbled. "But on one condition"

Sasuke frowned cautiously. "What?"

"I want you to leave, and seriously think over what you are thinking about doing. There will be consequences, and I want you to consider them"

Sasuke scoffed. "Like Sakura considered them?"

But that was enough for the hokage. "Uchiha!" she roared and slammed her chakra-filled fist in the desk. It cracked dangerously, but she just glared at the unfazed ninja in front of her. "Do you have any idea of what you are doing? I won't just have to erase Sakura from your mind, but also everything that has a connection to her! Like this village, like your days as a team, like Kakashi, like NARUTO!"

Sasuke didn't even blink, as the women screamed on the top of her lungs, trying to get him to understand how foolish this was. He said nothing, but then without as much as a glance at Kakashi he said:

"I can live with that"

Tsunade just stared.

Kakashi didn't look surprised.

When no one said anything, Sasuke reached out his pale hand. "Deal?" Tsunade stared at it, then she sighed and took it.

"Yes"

Sasuke could have smirked in victory, but it was not really a cheerful matter. Instead, he turned around and walked out of the door. The deal was sealed.

* * *

"Sasuke…"

"Don't"

"Sasuke, just…."

"I said _don't_"

Kakashi sighed, as he had to go faster to keep up with the younger man as they wandered down the street. He wanted to try again, but Sasuke cast him a glare that warned him from brining it up. The younger ninja leaped hastily down the alleys with his dark mantle dancing in the wind behind him. Once again, it was like the sun itself avoided him, and there was a never-fading shadow over his gritty face.

Therefore Kakashi was merely surprised when he actually talked to his former teacher, the hoarse voice strained and cold as always. "Don't look at me like that"

"I'm not looking at you in any special way" Kakashi said calmly.

But Sasuke snorted, and began going more rapidly once more, as in some great hurry. "You think I'm a friend-betraying idiot, who just overacts" he grunted, a frown like a shadow over his features.

"No" Kakashi said sincerely. "I think you are proud, and heartbroken"

Sasuke didn't answer.

The sun was sparkling, mocking them from its blue thrown, and people seemed to be so annoyingly happy. Like they had no trouble in the whole wide world, and everything was so god-damn perfect! Where ever Sasuke tried to keep his eyes he saw smiling, stupid faces. Even when he looked up in one of the trees beside the road he caught the sight of two pigeons, singing happily together, like imported from some brainless love-story.

So he kept going, with no idea of where he was heading. He was supposed to pretend to reconsider his choice, but they all knew that he _never_ went back on his words.

That reminded him… _Naruto…_ A big blur of emotions he couldn't separated and analyse rose in his chest, like a tight lump, choking him. He froze in one step, in the middle of the street. People passed him with an odd look, but he didn't notice it.

_Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck…_

Then, without so much of a glance at Kakashi, he turned on his heels and set off in the opposite direction.

* * *

Naruto, the fearsome kyyobi, to-be hokage, and boyfriend of Hanuro Sakura, looked up from his boiling Ramen, his eyebrows furred. _Why do I suddenly sense an intention to kill?_

He picked up chakra… wait, it was familiar! Only one could have such a dark and powerful chakra! Naruto spun around, facing the cranky door at the other side of his lumpy apartment.

No way… no way…

Still struggling with accepting the fact he stared at the door, waiting for it to fly open and for the ninja behind him to come before him. _So long… finally…_

But then he heard glass shatter behind him, but before he could turn around he felt someone slam his fist in the back of his head. "Dobe!"

Naruto felt the pain explode in the back of his head, as stars exploded in front of his eyes. He tumbled aside and fell against the zink. "Damn it!" He blinked up at his attacker as he rubbed the back of his head, a lump already growing under his fingers.

"Oy, Teme" he greeted the man standing over him, glaring just as angrily as himself. "Dattebayo, you're back" he noted as he got to his feet.

"No shit, dobe" Sasuke growled and tried to hit him once again, but Naruto stepped aside this time. One hit was alright, but two was one too much. He stared heatedly at the man in front of him, all of his appearance like a blow of nostalgia over his mind. The black, spiky hair with the duck-butt in the neck. The dark, glowing, yet cold stare. The pale, torn skin, matching the always dark clothing. That frown over his stern face…

Yes, everything was just as he remembered it.

But it was so strange. After all this time, after so long of waiting, of thinking, of plain painful regretting… Naruto had nothing to say to his best friend. He just stared at him, secretly so happy that he didn't dare to really be it. It _couldn't_ be this wonderful, it couldn't just be good again.

But Sasuke obviously wasn't so happy. He stared at Naruto with the wish to tear out his guts with his own hands and let them pour out over the dirty, trash-covered floor shining in the pitch-black eyes. _At least they aren't red yet…_

Moments passed.

A bird sang outside the shattered window, and Naruto could hear a child laugh somewhere down the street.

Sasuke never took his eyes of Naruto's uncharacteristically serious face, stared at it like he never seen it before, with pure disgust etched in ever line of his features. And perhaps, somewhere in those black eyes a little, secret and never to be admitted jealousy?

"Sakura" was all he said, and saw his best friend's face puncture like a sad balloon at the name. His crystal blue eyes got a gloomy shadow over them, and he looked almost apologizing at Sasuke. He even reached out his hand, but Sasuke flinched.

"Yeah… about that…"

"Fuck that!" Sasuke growled, already loosing his temper. "Why? Why did you let her do it? Why did you get together with her? Why, tell me that!"

Naruto hanged with his head, as a little child, busted taking cookies from the jar. "I… sorry, Sasuke" he tried weakly, knowing it was far from enough. But what more could he offer?

"Sorry? You are sorry? You think I give damn about if _you are sorry_? It doesn't change a shit!" Sasuke launched himself towards the blonde and before he had a chance to do anything, to move, to think, he grabbed the collar of his orange-black t-shirt, rocked him furiously, staring into those blue, hopeless eyes, belonging to the person who had given him everything he ever wanted, and now took away the only thing that mattered.

"Fuck you, dobe! You piece of shit… you trash, demon, _DOBE_!" Sasuke roared every possible insult he could come up with from the top of his lungs, just a few inches from Naruto's face.

Naruto didn't even flinch.

"How the hell could you…" Sasuke hadn't enough words. He didn't know any words enough to express this feeling that was tearing down his whole body. So he did what the Uchihas always did when they were bewildered. He fought.

As his fist for a second time cam flying towards Naruto's face, it still stayed numb. The summer-blue eyes didn't even blink, just stared into the dark pools of Sasuke's.

Sasuke froze.

His knuckled fist stopped an inch from the little child-nose. If someone had stopped and looked into the window from the street, then they would have seen two young men, frozen like ice-statues in a dirty kitchen.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but he didn't close the gap between them with his hands. He seemed like he tried, his fingers clenched. But it was like those blue piercing eyes build a transparent wall between them. Sasuke, the heartless avenger, the man who killed his own brother for vengeance, was unable to give the brother that had stabbed him in the back another punch.

He felt pathetic.

And then Naruto spoke in a low voice. "I really am sorry, Sasuke" His voice was filled with disgusting, pure sincerity. Sasuke let go of his grip of the collar, as if the touch of the fox-boy had burned him. "Hn" as all he got out. A good thing with these words that identified you, you could always lean on them when you didn't know what to say.

But Naruto wasn't about making it easy for him. He reached after Sasuke's arm, and stopped the other ninja from turning away from him.

"I never wanted it to go like this, dattebayo"

_Liar_… Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but he was silent. So Naruto continued, perhaps obvious to the fact that he was walking close to the line of being pierced by a chidori. "Believe it, Sasuke! I just…"

"Hn" Sasuke interrupted. The last thing he wanted to hear was sentimental love-declaration from the blonde dobe. _At least he will take care of her properly_… a bitter thought crossed the dark ninja's mind, thing back on all the times Naruto done anything to protect the pink-haired kunochi. _That's more then I did_…

Naruto must have read his mind, because he dared himself to put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, something not many would get away with alive.

"Swear" Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto blinked. "What?"

Without looking up from his shoos, Sasuke thought that this was the real reason he had come. To take goodbye from Naruto, and do a final act in his try to protect Sakura.

"Swear…" he began, but heard his voice too raspy to continue. After clearing his voice he tried again. "Swear that you will protect her, no matter what"

Naruto's blue eyes got something soft, nostalgic over them. He, just as his former team-mate, felt memories of old, perhaps happier times, pass them as they stood in the kitchen.

"I swear" Naruto said. "I swear on my way as a ninja"

Not daring to say anything because the risk that his voice might not bare, Sasuke just nodded. "Hn"

And then, in a leap, he was out of the window again. Naruto spun after him, but he was already out of sight with his inhuman speed. "Wait! Teme!" Naruto roared after him, leaning out of the window. "What are you going to do? Sasuke? SASUKE?"

Sasuke closed his eyes, as trying to shut the yell out. _Goodbye_ _Naruto_…

* * *

**A/N**: First, sorry for this crappy chapter. Sorry. And second, sorry, I know it took forever to update… I'm so lazy, but it has been a terrible start of the year, and I'm going my last year in "grundskolan" in Swedish. This mean tests, tests, and TESTS. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE THIS WEEKS BEFORE SUMMER!! Sob...

But about the chapter, next will be longer and better. I really don't like this. Naruto is my favourite character, together with Shikamaru and Temari, and Sasuke of course. Then come Sakura, Gaara and Itachi and Kakashi and Tsunade, and Jirayia and… Well, perhaps I should stop now.

The point is, that even his Naruto is my first favourite character (with Shikamaru ) I find him terribly hard to write… SIGH.

Next chapter: Sasuke goes back to his apartment to get rid of all the things that reminds him of his life with Sakura, Naruto and Kakahsi. And then… the erase-operation begins.

And pleeeeeease, review. It would be so nice…

* * *

/Phritz


	7. Gone

* * *

Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners. **

* * *

_--_

_**A love to remember**_

_Chapter __VI_

* * *

For the second time that day Sasuke slammed the door to his apartment. Without stopping to think, or to catch his breath, letting the fury and annoyingness that always filled him after seeing the dobe, he began tossing trough his possessions, throwing everything that he in some way connected to Sakura to the floor.

Gifts, photos, anything he could think of… Then leave it over to Tsunade and Kakashi, so they could get rid of it. That way, if Sasuke went through with the procedure, he wouldn't find any strange items having to do with her that would be unexplainable.

The first thing he came across was all the pictures of the two of them, and Naruto. He stared at them for forever it seemed. He was amazed, they looked so happy both of them! It felt like ages ago. He allowed himself to get lost in the memory of those days and events. It seemed like another life, someone else's life…

The picture from that time in the photo booth, when Sakura had practically dragged him in, even forcing him to smile in the last shot… Or all the numerous time Naruto or Ino sneaked up behind them with her digital camera. But then he frowned and quickly tossed it to the floor. He didn't want to remember.

He tossed away her medical books she left at his place after all the nights she studied there. He went trough he wardrobe and found some of her clothes left. They still smelled of her, the soft scent of flower and warm, fair skin. He found a pair of boxers she once bought him as a joke, and a sketch Sai done of the two of them. All of it ended up in the pile on the floor.

He also found all the things that connected him to Naruto, they were fewer but still some. A new pair of kunais with the Uchiha emblem on, a gift on his birthday, and the bowels with tomatoes painted on. It was supposed to be for ramen, but Naruto had given him his permission to eat something more eatable.

Sasuke let it fall to the floor, and the crashing sound echoed trough the silent apartment.

Then he took of his shinobi headband. When he returned, when the trials were over, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi had given it to him. It had been a thoughtful gift, a sign that he was one of them. As he always had been.

But it was first at that night, when he had taken it off to sleep, that he noticed something on the inside of the band. Puzzled, he had lit the light again to take a closer look. Something had been embroidered into the silk. A flower in pink thread.

Sasuke's spider-long fingers wrapped around the cold metal. The konoha leaf. His _home_. When he woke up next day, it would be lost. Gone. Not even that, because he wouldn't even remember that he ever had it.

He dropped it; it fell down, slowly, like trough water. A faint _clink_ when it hit the floor. And he held it no more.

Without a sigh, without a flinch, without any sign of pain of disturbance, Sasuke moved over to the window. He stared down at the last photograph. It had been ages since that day. The twelve-years old children before him was from another life. A happier life. Her smile seemed to be burned into his retina, no matter how hard he pressed them together, he saw it before him. So innocent, so happy… so Sakura.

He threw it out of the window.

Sasuke almost forgot the last item – he was so used to always have it with him wherever he went. Reaching into his cloaks pocket, he pulled out a necklace. It was a stone in cerise and black, the colour split it in two but yet they entwined each other, making it impossible to tell where which colour ended and the other stared. It was glittering in the light between his pale fingers. She had given it to him on their anniversary, and even doe he never wore it around his neck, it had become a habit to play with it whenever he missed her extra badly. But that made him toss it to the floor even quicker. He had missed her so much, and now she was gone. He was alone. Again.

Looking around his apartment, he scanned for anything else he would have to get rid of. It was hard, _everything_ reminded him of Sakura – the bed, where they made love so many times… the couch, where they made love so many times… the shower, where they made love so many times… He very well couldn't take those with him. What about things like silk, which always made him think of Sakura's soft skin? Or emeralds, which always made him envision her eyes? What would he think of every time he saw those things?

Then it hit him. He wouldn't think of anything, because he wouldn't have any memories connecting them to Sakura. In fact, he wouldn't even know who Sakura _was_. He contemplated that for a few seconds – could he really wipe out such a huge part of his life?

He tried to hate her, he _tried_ so desperately to hate her. He had hated his own brother, this wouldn't be so hard. She had been weak, she had failed him, _failed them_. She had fallen for Naruto! And the teme, the one man Sasuke, always reluctant, had come to look at as his best friend, had played along.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. It only took one look back at the lack of recognition in Sakura's eyes, or her walking away holding Naruto's hand, and he found his mind already made up. He couldn't live like that, haunted by knowledge only he had, always taunted by the sight of his love in the arms of another, the arms of his best friend.

If she could erase him so callously… Well, so could he.

* * *

It was late, and Tsunade's mood was beginning to lighten up. Sasuke still hadn't returned - hopefully he had truly realized what the outcome of his actions would be. However, her mood plummeted once more when a garbage bag was suddenly thrown onto the chair in front of her. Looking up, he saw Sasuke silently climb in through the window.

"So you've made your decision?" the hokage sighed.

"I am here, aren't I?" was Sasuke's answer and walked over to the chair to sit down.

Tsunade sighed once more, giving it one more shot to convince the dark ninja not to do this. "Mr Uchiha, I know you think this is the right choice to make, but I beg to you reconsider," Tsunade pleaded, wishing for a way to reach the avenger. "Consider what you wish to do – you will be completely obliterating Sakura, the woman you claim to love, from your mind. Can you live with that?"

"I won't have to" came the rebuttal.

Tsunade open her mouth to argue, but Sasuke cut him off. "_Don't_. Nothing you can say can convince me to chance my mind, so just get it over with"

"Alright then" the former sannin gave in, and rose from the chair behind the desk. "Lie down" she ordered him harshly, and he lay down at the floor. She sank down at his head, rising her hands towards his temple.

Sasuke didn't move, but asked, his voice indifferent of the answer. "How is this going to work?"

"The mind is an interesting place, Mr. Uchiha. It is like a web, with memories and feelings connected to each other. I will start with your memories of this event here – that will connect back to your most recent memory of Sakura, and then on to others from there. It will work backwards, each memory having built on the one previous, until we will be back at your very first recollection of her. She will be erased from everything, but the core of the memories will remain, so you will not have suddenly lost a year of your life. Do you understand?"

"Yes"

"If you are ready, we can begin. All I need you to do is concentrate on your thoughts of our conversations today"

"All right'"

"I have to ask one more time, Sasuke… Are you absolutely positive about this?"

Sasuke closed his eyes, but he knew he couldn't answer different. His voice was just as cold and dead as it always had been when he gave her his reply. "Yes. Do it"

And with a silent pray that she would be forgiven for what she was about to do, Tsunade entered the mind of Uchiha Sasuke.

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**A/N**: I know this is short, believe me, I know! But this is a short chapter, and it has been done for a long time. I've actually been writing ahead (yey!). But for the moment I'm a little busy with the whole graduating test-thing. (finally over!) And now I'm maybe going to perform in poetry slam at Sweden's greatest festival. It is being discussed as I write. I really hope so!!

About next chapter: Ladies and gentleman, we are now entering the angst mind of Uchiha Sasuke. Beware. Tsunade will erase his memories backwards, starting with his latest memory of her, ending with the first one. (a cookie for the one who guesses what that will be…)

Se ya!

* * *

Phritz


	8. Resemblance

Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners

**Disclaimer: All characters remain the property of their respective owners. **

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_--_

_**A love to remember**_

_Chapter __VII_

_--_

_"I have to ask one more time, Sasuke… Are you absolutely positive about this?"_

_Sasuke closed his eyes, but he knew he couldn't answer different. His voice was just as cold and dead as it always had been when he gave her his reply. "Yes. Do it"_

_And with a silent pray that she would be forgiven for what she was about to do, Tsunade entered the mind of Uchiha Sasuke..._

* * *

Thinking he had heard somebody behind him talking of a sakura, Sasuke turned around in his seat and inconspicuously scanned the bar. There was nothing out of the ordinary, nobody that caught his attention.

'Must have been imagining things,' he decided, and twisted back to face his drink. It had just been desperate, wishful thinking on his part.

"So where is she?"

Sasuke looked up from his cup of sake and over to the young woman leaning over before him. She was pretty, he supposed. In a cheap, kind of dusty way. A prostitute, no doubt. He looked down in the cup again, just to show that he was not a future customer.

"Excuse me?" he asked her coldly.

He chuckled and leaned back on the chair.

"The woman" she explained simply, her dark, big eyes studying him. "The one who gave you that jewel" she noted and nodded towards his pale fingers, playing with the necklace.

Sasuke looked away, swiftly letting the necklace slip back down to his pocket. "Not here" he muttered.

"No, obviously" the prostitute laughed, not faced by his hostility. "But why isn't she? A handsome man like yourself shouldn't be able to lose a regular, rational girl with a working pair of eyes" She leaned her head in her cheek, tilting her head at him. "Huh? Tell this pretty, lonely girl why a man like you is going to waste?"

Sasuke didn't want to talk about this. It was humiliating enough without others digging in it.

He missed her. He kept looking in the crowd, hoping to see her, wishing that she would just magically appear, that maybe she had come to find him… But he knew that wouldn't happen, and it just depressed him even more. It bothered Sasuke to no end that he was in the middle of nowhere spying after his brother and drinking away his sorrow when he should be in Konoha, with Sakura in his arms. It was like he was just sitting and waiting for the inevitable to happen, and it wasn't a feeling he was partial to.

But he couldn't return, not yet. Not without killing Itachi. He tried to tell himself that it was for Sakuras sake, like he had told Naruto and Kakashi, with Itachi out there they would both be looking over their shoulder, awaiting the flutter of ravens and the cold-blooded feeling of those sharingan-red eyes anytime. And he couldn't live his life like that.

But that was just a great lie he told him self to feel better, and Sakura had known it.

He did because, simply, he couldn't live in a world where the man who had ruined his life breathed and lived and could exist.

He couldn't stand that. Not even for Sakura's sake. Naruto had been right, his thirst after vengeance was greater then his love for Sakura. He wasn't worthy her, Naruto had been right in that too.

"I have… unfinished business" he said silently, staring down in his sake.

"So important business that you're leaving her behind?" the prostituted asked and poured herself some sake, not taking her eyes from the dark man before her. "That's cold… "

"I have my responsibilities" Sasuke exclaimed coolly. Damn, a prostituted schooling him in morals? Not what he needed tonight.

"Of course, of course" the woman nodded, picking up his annoyed scowl. "But really" she leaned dangerously close to his pale cheek. He could feel her hot, sake-filled breath over his skin, making every hair on his body to rise. "You ought to forget about her for tonight…"

And the darkness crawled from its corners, eating the memory away, like a dark, musty fog. Sasuke saw the bar, the guest disappear, their voices and laughter dying out to a weak echo, and then noting. But kept his gaze at this woman's beautiful face, those dark eyes so different from the green ones he wanted.

"I am" he whispered as her face fell into shadow before of him.

And that memory was no more.

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_**A/N: **_And so it begins. Hold up for the major wave of angst that's going to sweep over this story like a Tsunami. And I know the chapter is short! Believe me! I KNOW! But there is going to be one erased memory in on chapter, so the length will depend on the length of the memory.

We'll just have to live with it.

And now, for next chapter: The memories continue to be erased as Sasuke confronts with the recall of the last time he saw Sakura and she remembered him.

See ya! And thanks for all the reviews. Keeps me working.

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/Phritz

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